Have you ever been sad? Good news, this exists. Just an ungodly amount of little gay boys living their best lives. Updates come often. Any requests or ideas from Tiktok will be added to this collection.
The first time Neil had mentioned having a boyfriend, it rubbed Todd the wrong way.
"Oh, yeah, I had this boyfriend back in middle school and he-"
"Boyfriend?"
Neil paused his story. The poets were sitting in the cave, exchanging funny stories and having a grand old time.
Todd didn't know Neil that well, they had only been roommates for a couple of months, but all the time he thought Neil was straight. And it sure came as a shock to find out he wasn't.
Todd hadn't meant to come off as judgemental. He was just curious, but it came out wrong. Neil seemed to shrink back and Todd felt a pang of guilt as he realized it was because of him.
"Um, yeah. Boyfriend. So anyway, he-"
Neil finished his story and the group laughed, but Todd couldn't hear it. He was stuck on boyfriend.
That meeting finished up awkwardly and they all went to bed.
Todd supposed that Neil was always social, but now he seemed to notice it more. Always going out, meeting someone in town, always always always.
It was horrible. Todd couldn't get the picture of Neil with...with some boy, out of his head. He was disgusted, not just with Neil, but with himself. He didn't want to feel this mad. He wanted to be kind, and accepting, and understanding that Neil was gay and that was fine, but he was just so angry.
Todd began to avoid Neil. Every time he saw him, he couldn't help but think about the boys he'd kissed with his perfect lips.
How many times did someone have the pleasure of saying that Neil Perry was his boyfriend? Todd felt sick.
It got so bad, he needed advice.
"Charlie. Open the door."
"I'm busy. Buzz off."
Todd knocked again, less patiently. "C'mon, let me in."
A pause. Charlie groaned, and the door swung open. "What is it?" he said, less than amused.
Todd pushed passed him, and sat on Cameron's chair.
"I...it's about Neil. What he said at the meeting."
Charlie tiled his head in confusion. "The spider thing? Because I know for a fact you're afraid of spiders, too. You have no room to talk-"
"No! No, the other thing..."
Charlie racked his brain, but couldn't for the life of him think of anything unusual. He shrugged.
Todd sighed. "The story about his boyfriend," he said, practically whispering.
"Oh, that Neil's into guys?" Charlie laughed as Todd frantically shushed him. "Yeah, that was pretty awkward when you interrupted his story. What's up?"
"I-I...I don't like it, I think."
Charlie's face fell. "You're homophobic?" He asked, deadpan.
"No! I mean, yes? But I don't want to be!"
"...alright." Charlie sat down. He looked more confused than nything, like Todd hd just contridicted some long standing theory. "What exactly is your issue with it?"
Todd thought, blowing a strand of hair out of his eyes. "It's just...I guess it's that I can't stop thinking about Neil, um...kissing boys. Like, I don't want him to."
"You don't want him to?"
Todd nodded.
"Alright, let me ask you this:" Charlie leaned foreward, shifting his weight to his feet. "Would you have a problem if it was me kissing boys? Or Knox?"
Todd thought. "No, just Neil."
"Why?"
There was a long pause. Was Todd really going to dump everything on Charlie right now? The awful feeling he got when Neil said he was going on a date. How he stared at Neil's lips and couldn't stop thinking about how he could just kiss him. How could Neil be into guys? What guys? How could Neil like them? What did they have that Todd didn't?
"Oh my God."
"Yeah?"
"I'm in love with Neil."
"Bingo."
Todd wasn't homophobic. He was jealous.
Todd took a deep breath, tightening his grip on the flowers before opening the door.
Neil lifted his head out of his book. "Oh, hey, Todd. Where'd you get those?"
That was one thing about Neil. It never crossed his mind that the flowers could be for him. His thought process ws simple: Todd, holding flowers, someone must've gave him flowers. He obsessed over Todd, and found it impossible that it wasn't a universal experience.
Todd cleared his throat, and extended his arm, handing them to Neil. "Um..." he said, voice wrecked by nervousness. "I...would you like to get dinner? T-together."
Neil felt like his brain would actually explode. Todd was asking him out? Neil expected someone to jump out with camera, say "got you!" But no. It was real. This was real.
He smiled. "Yeah, I'd love that."
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