Anderperry Oneshots Collection

Split

It had been two months since Neil and Todd broke up, and Neil was still trying to settle into his new house.

It was a cold November and the rain patterned on tirelessly, tiny drops of water leaking through the roof and into a half-full bucket.  

Cardboard boxes were stacked on almost every surface, tucked away into corners so he could at least pretend to be a functional adult. But it was getting harder.

It was an ugly split. Neil went over it in his mind almost daily. How could something so perfect go so wrong?

Neil got home after work one day, stressed and exhausted. He was having a terrible day, nothing seemed to be going right. Not even the door handle, apparently, because it jammed twice before he finally got the door open. 

"Hi, sweetie," Todd said from the couch. "How was work?"

Neil huffed, and tossed his bag on the counter. He didn't want to yell at Todd, he really didn't, but he was afraid if he opened his mouth right now he might. So instead, he went to take a shower. Maybe it would calm him down. 

It didn't.

When he came back, his hair wet and freshly groomed, he found Todd, still on the couch, this time eating a pizza. It must've been delivered while Neil was showering. 

"I wish you wouldn't eat on the couch," Neil said, an edge to his voice. 

"I wish you would respond when I talk to you, but-" Todd shrugged. "Y'know."

Neil rolled his eyes. "I was just asking you to move, what's with the attitude?"

"What's with yours?"

"Well, I had a shit day at work, thanks for asking."

"Why are you always doing that?"

Neil was exasperated. "Doing what?"

"Trying to...I don't know. Make me feel guilty or something for not working a 9-5. I offered to get a proper job, you were the one who-"

Neil raised a hand in defeat. "Whatever, it...doesn't matter." He tried to cool down his voice, to respond respectfully. "I'm sorry. I just had a bad day."

"I don't think I'm done talking about this, Neil." It was rare for Todd to continue an argument after it was stopped. He was passive, liked to let things resolve. "I'm sorry you had a bad day, but you can't just walk into my home and-"

"Your home?" Neil cut him off.

"Well, I actually live here, so yeah, I guess it's my fucking home. You just stop here to sleep like some...crasher or something."

"Because I'm working to support you!"

"Don't even go there, I pay the rent," Todd sighed. "I just want it to be like it was back in high school, when we could...go see a movie, or...or read poetry in the park. I want to read you the bullshit I write and..."

Neil scoffed. "High school's over. Welcome to the real world."

Todd was shocked. "You're...you're just going to write me off like that? Neil, I'm being serious here. I want to be your boyfriend, not just a roommate!"

"I never said you were a roommate."

"But you treat me like one!" Todd buried his head in his hands, taking a breath to compose himself. His voice was getting shaky with anger. "This isn't working."

"You can say that again."

"No, Neil! This!" Todd gestured back and forth between himself and Neil. "This, us!"

"Todd..."

"What? Should be easy for you, we haven't actually been together for a while now. The only difference is I won't be waiting for you to come home."

Neil grit his teeth. How could Todd not see all he had been doing for him? Just resort to this? "You know what? Fine. You're a selfish asshole, I don't know why I asked you out in the first place."

Todd was almost in tears now, hot, angry tears. "Get out of my apartment."

And that was it. Three years together down the drain. 

Neil couldn't bear to think of Todd anymore. He couldn't stop loving him, no matter how much he lied to himself about it. 

It was still the same Todd that night, and it was the same Todd out in the world now, doing God knows what. That anxious boy from Welton that Neil stupidly fell in love with could be out bartending, or opening a flower shop, or getting hit by a car, and Neil would be none the wiser.

It felt wrong when he thought of it like that. That Todd was just poof, gone, out of his life. His shy roommate was out of his life. His loving boyfriend was gone.

Neil buried his head in his hands. He did that a lot nowadays, just sitting there, thinking about how this all could've gone differently. 

They were supposed to be soulmates. And they were split up by...what? A broken-up relationship? Just that? That's all it took?

The doorbell rang, ominous in the otherwise silent house.

Neil didn't want to answer it. That didn't stop him, though. 

He swung open the door, and his jaw almost dropped. 

Todd stood on the doorstep, dressed strangely formally and soaking wet. His tie was undone, hanging over his shoulders, and he had his arms crossed over his body, most likely to warm himself up.

"I'm sorry," he said before Neil could get a word in. "I just came from my cousin's wedding, and I kept seeing a bunch of happy couples there and I swear to God it was like a slap in the face, and then my grandma asked me how you were doing and I was crying at a wedding venue. And so I came here to see you even though we haven't talked for like two months, and I guess you're doing fine, so I'm sorry for the trouble, I'll just go."

Todd turned to leave.

"Todd."

He paused, turning slightly. 

Neil hesitated. "You look cold, do you want to come inside?"

Todd turned back, a relieved smile on his face. "Please."

The house was dingy. It was nicer than their old apartment, sure, but it didn't feel warm like it did. Todd ran his hand over the marble countertop. 

"This place is nice," he said weakly. "You bought this?"

"No, no I'm renting." 

"Oh. It's, um...roomy."

"Todd?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry about what I said, I was mad, I just wanted to... " Neil sighed, and ran a hand through his hair, "...to hurt you. I wanted you to feel as bad as I was feeling. And I know I never should have done that, that was super shitty and I'm sorry."

Todd was getting a bit choked up. "I only wanted to be your boyfriend, it felt like...like I didn't matter to you."

Neil held out his arms, and Todd hugged him gratefully, getting Neil soaking wet because neither of them cared. "You're the only thing that matters to me," he whispered, and hoped to God that Todd heard him.

"I'm sorry," Todd said, face buried in Neil's shoulder. 

"It's okay," Neil said, because it was. He had forgiven Todd a long time ago.

"Neil?"

"Yeah?"

"I understand if you don't want to, but do you think we could give this another try?"

Neil smiled. It was like Todd read his mind. 

"Let's go home, Toddy."