The boy who found me

chapter 1

Its been a long day at work. I need to relieve my stress. Like.. Right now. But the question is, can i escape safely to the bathroom to do what i need to do? I eye ball my bag that has all the supplies that i need in it, as the last customer of the day leaves. I should really just close the shop down and go home. But just the thought of home makes the feeling of need stronger. Im starting to go numb and my ears ring. I know what must be done, but sometimes i get lost trying to fulfill my fantasies of pure blood lust. Besides Andy's still here what if she walked in on me cutting? Hmm.. Maybe just a few quick cuts. it wont hurt anybody. I bite my lip in deep thought and then quickly snatch my bag from behind the counter and rush to the back of the shop where the bathroom is.

I look through my bag franticly for a while. Frustrated from not being able to find what i need right away, i let out a growl and empty my bag on the floor of the small, shabby bathroom. All my things are scrambled around on the floor, maybe even broken from hitting the ground with such force, but the only thing i can think of right now is my blade. The thought of cutting only makes the urge and temptation so much worse. Tears fill my eyes and blur my vision but i do not let them fall. My breathing becomes labored, "Come on they have to be in here somewhere!" i was about to go get a knife from the kitchen of the shop just to get the pain done and over with, when my fingers brush up against a cold, smooth surface that i recognized as my blade. I sigh with relief and I grip the blade tight in my hand, afraid that it might some how get lost if i dont hold on for dear life. I roll my sleeve up on my left arm as far as it can go and search for a spot on my arm that doesnt have a complete clutter of cuts. Im about to give up and move to my stomach when i decide to just cut over my cuts. Wouldn't be the first time i had to do that.

I draw it back and forth and feel a burst of joy immediatly. I groaned with pleasure as blood springs to life from my forearm. I feel pathetic cutting at work. Especially when i told Andy i would stop the last time she caught me. But this feeling is worth it. I wonder what Andy would say if she caught me cutting again. She would most likely try to make me get help again. It's not like she could tell Broc, he doesn't care what I do to myself. i look down at my arm and realize that ive cut way more then i intended to. There is blood everywhere on my skin and even on the floor.

Speaking of the devil. She startled me when she banged on the door, "Rain!" i jumped and my eyes snapped to the door.

"Shit!" I whispered under my breath.

"You've been in there for 20 minutes!", i immediatly started to get my alcohol wipes out to clean myself off.

"Jesus Andy! You scared me!" My heart pounding in my chest and adrenaline pumping through my veins. i just needed to hurry.

I could still hear her breath close to the door and see her feet on the floor underneath the door. it wasnt until then that i realized i was laying on the floor. Then i heard Andys voice again, "Im sorry i scared you. I just got worried, are- areyou okay?" I felt bad when, she hesitated to ask me if i was okay. She new exactly what i was doing, she just wanted to be in denial about it. I could hear the worry in her voice clear as day.

"Um.. yeah im okay.. i just. um," oh come on Rain. Think of some excuse! i looked around the bathroom and my eyes scanned the toilet, "Think im coming down with the flu. My tummy has been sort of crazy today. Um, I'm on my way out Just give me 2 more minutes!" i hurriedly cleaned off my blade and stashed all my supplies away safe and sound. I didn't bother to put bandaids on i knew it would bleed through no matter what. I rolled down my sleeves and headed out to face Andy.

As soon as i opened the bathroom door an aroma of coffee hit me and woke me up. I wanted to go back to the safety of that bathroom. And most of all i wanted to go back to the comfort of my blade. But one look into Andys tear filled eyes, told me everything. She knew what i was doing and she looked hurt and disapointed. I knew i wasnt going home with out giving an explaination.; I hated going home to that fat lard sitting on the couch all the time. God please give me strength to make it through the night with out cutting again.

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Hope you enjoyed!:)