[byler] fight or flight

7. Will

A/N: I'd like to specify that in this AU, Nancy shot Vecna to death. He's dead, dead, dead. So yeah, no more vecnussy. The gates to the UD are still open, tho.

Max Mayfield and I had never been as close as she was to everyone else in the party. Maybe if I hadn't been so averse to the idea of letting the girls be a part of us, I would've gotten to know her better. I wish I had.

Secretly, despite saying (mostly, in front of Mike) that I didn't want her to be one of us, I thought she was cool. Whenever I saw her, riding on her skate, beating Dustin and Lucas at the arcade, or making fun of Mike; I always thought I wanted to be more like her. Bold and hot-headed. I envied the way she looked like she could never be afraid. She was confident, at least, she looked confident.

I wish I had spent more time with her.

All of these thoughts were running through my head and I was paralyzed.

Max died. For more than a minute.

I couldn't believe it. I was... I was shocked. So I just stood there, while my sister bawled her eyes out on the countertop, my brother held her in his arms, and she hid her head on my chest, and I wrapped my arms around her. After a minute, Mike and Argyle joined the hug, wrapping their arms around us. But I felt numb. Like I wasn't even there.

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While the rest of us were cleaning up, Jane was resting in a chair next to the door. She looked miserable, sad, and exhausted. I didn't know if I should go up to her or just let her spend time alone with her thoughts, until Jonathan, who was filling up the freezer, raised his eyebrows at me. I sat in the chair next to her, in silence, waiting for her to speak. She just laid her head on my shoulder, a familiar gesture now, and I wrapped my arm around her shoulder.

"Thank you" she mumbled.

"Why?"

"If it wasn't for you, both Max and I would've been dead right now. I heard you telling Mike what to do. You called him 'the heart'. Thank you, Will".

"Oh, um, thanks, but I think he would've done it anyways".

"No, I know that. He would've probably just panicked if you hadn't been there. You saved my life, Will, and Max's".

"Well... you saved mine too, remember?" I said, softly. "We're even".

"I'm happy I did" she grinned for just a second, then her face went back to her saddened expression. I squeezed her shoulder.

"How are you feeling?"

"Halfway happy, halfway sad. Because Max is alive, but she's not well". I nodded.

"At least, Henry is dead. And it's over, and we'll be fine".

"But I failed" she whispered, sad. I turned to face her.

"No, you didn't. You fought to save her. You saved her, and he's dead. You won, Jane."

"But why do I feel like I didn't? It just feels like a failure, like I've lost everything".

"You haven't lost us. I'm here for you, Jane".

She turned to me and hugged me tightly, her breathing unsteady. Over her shoulder, I noticed Jonathan and Mike staring. "Jesus, you're cold, and you're still wet. Hey, Argyle, do you know if we have a heater or something like that here?"

"I could turn the oven on for Supergirl!" yelled Argyle, from the kitchen.

Jane followed Argyle into the kitchen and a few minutes later I heard her laugh about one of his fart jokes. He had such a way of cheering us up somehow, I remember that one day that stupid girl, Angela, stepped on Jane's new skirt while she was at P.E., and she was mad out of her head, but the moment Argyle dropped by to pick us up, he didn't even ask. He just saw her muddy skirt and her red face and said something about a high tomato, and there she was, laughing again.