[byler] fight or flight

6. Mike

I couldn't even make her smile.

When she walked towards the table next to the counter, I followed her and sat right in front of her. El looked at me like I wasn't there.

She was like, locked inside herself. I tried joking, I tried looking at her eyes, I tried holding her hands, so why wouldn't she get out of her shell and just... talk to me? Why does she hate me so much? 

"Are you okay?".

"I'm fine," she said, quietly.

"Are you sure? You look... kinda sad.

"Do you even care?" she whispered.

"I care, Eleven. I swear that I care..."

"Jane," she said, cutting me off.

"What?"

"My name is Jane. I don't want to be Eleven anymore" she said tonelessly, looking at me for the first time since she had left the van.

"Okay, Jane, whatever. I care about you. A lot. And I think you're having a rough time and I want to help you because I care. I care".

She just stared at me, sadly, and tilted her head to the side.

"You care," was the last thing she said to me before Argyle tossed an enormous pizza onto the table. She immediately changed her expression to a smiley, goofy one I noticed she always had when she was around him. "Surf's up, Romeo".

How ironic, because Romeo is the last thing I'm feeling like right now.

*******

Jane slid into the water and we surrounded her in silence, kneeling at the same time as her, Will beside me, and Jonathan supervising everything.

Her knees were visible above the water. She was floating. I was worried about the cardboard glasses getting soaked, but everything was fine. When Jane was finally still, her hands inanimate in the clear water, the lights flickered. Argyle gasped.

She was still. Will and I shared a fast look, feeling uneasy. "I found them. They're carrying a light. A blue light."

We looked at each other again. I was seeking comfort through Will's proximity and his eyes, but this time when I looked at him, I noticed he was doing the same.

"Okay, El, what's going on?"

"It's not working," she said, and I felt my guts twisting in a knot.

"What? What's not working?" asked Will.

"Max's plan".

There was silence as if El was listening to something, and I turned around to look at Will, again. I was terrified about Max, El, Lucas, and everyone else who was in Hawkins. Will reached for a sketchbook and a pen from his backpack and started flipping the pages till he found a blank one. He uncapped the pen with his teeth and held the cap between his lips while he wrote something before handing me the sketchbook.

Are you okay? I smiled slightly at the sight of his familiar handwriting and took the pen from Will's hand.

I don't know. I'm worried about El.

I'm sure that everything will be okay in the end. By the way, she told me she doesn't wanna be called El anymore.

Oh, shit, she told me too. I just forgot. 

I guess it's important for her. Like moving on.

Yeah, it's just that I'm used to calling her  El.