TAWAKKUL

21. Friends

NOT PROOF READ

It was 9:30 pm.

An hour passed since I'd called Azlan.

I sat on the guest room couch and waited for him.

My heart hammered against my chest.

'Was it really a good idea to call him?' I wondered.

Truth to be told, I was scared. I was planning to open up a little to him, but what if he downright rejected my attempts or mocked me for it.

But I couldn't keep running away from things, could I?

It was high time both of us needed clarity in our lives.

Ignoring each other and staying like strange roommates did no good to us.

I was about to retire to my room when the doorbell rang.

I set my hijab and took deep breaths before opening the door. I was nervous. This was the first time I approached him and I had no idea what his response would be.

There he stood with his white coat over one forearm and briefcase in the other hand.

His dark brown hair was tousled due to constant raking with his fingers. He had dark circles over his eyes and yet those brown orbs looked beautiful. And yes, there was a little concern in those eyes.

"What's up Tawakkul? Is everything alright?"

"Yeah I'm fine Azlan. It's just.. Erm... Why are you standing at the door.. Come in."

He came inside but continued with his questionnaire.

"But will you tell me what's up with you? That call of yours. You sounded scared. I don't know. Did something happen? Someone from home called you? Or did anyone come here?"

"No Azlan. Please calm down. Take a seat in the guest room. I'll bring some water for you and tell you.''

"But.."

"Please Azlan.."

I got some tea and snacks for him and sat on the sofa opposite to him.

"So? Will you say something?"

I took deep breaths once again. It was difficult for me to open up to anyone, let alone Azlan.

"Azlan.. I'm scared."

I looked everywhere but him. Whereas he kept looking at me with his boring gaze.

"Scared of?"

"Scared of everything. I felt quite alone today. I left my well set career back in Dubai because my parents were eager to get me married. And now they care less about what I'm upto . Then your dad gave me high hopes regarding this marriage and my upcoming future. But things didn't go as I imagined them to be. I feel like a puppet you know,as if I have no life of my own. And no I don't blame you or anyone for it. It's just that today, I felt these walls were closing upon me. I had no one to talk to, nothing to do, no hopes about my future, just nothing. And I'm scared, Azlan. I never thought I'd be saying all this to you. But, I don't want to end up like a loser in life. I don't know how long are we to stay together or what, but I don't want it to be miserable for both of us. I'm sure you're not happy either. Especially after our previous encounter where I lashed upon you, all you've done is ignore me and run away from your own house. And I'm sorry for that. "

His eyes grew big at my sorry. He probably didn't expect me to apologise to him, ever. But I had to, after all it was my mistake.

He thought for a while and then said,