Mission To The Heart (TeacherXstudent) (GXW)

Chapter 35 - Everything goes to shit

I woke up the next day feeling the cold embrace my body, I found myself tapping the bed to feel her but nothing, only cold and emptiness.

I opened my eyes and looked around to see if could find a note but nothing, I was trying to control my beating heart. Maybe she was in the bathroom I said to myself, as I got up to check, but nothing just an empty bathroom. 

I made my way back to the room my eyes going to the empty bed, I could feel an uncomfortable feeling that gripped my chest, my stomach, my whole body, and it got worse every time I looked at the bed. A tear started to run down my face but I didn't let it fall.

Maybe she needed to do something important, I tried to reason with myself, but the feeling wouldn't leave my body.

I got dressed my mind wasn't really in the moment, I was dreading what was coming next, and it was all my fault to think that she wouldn't do the same like before. Play with my feelings, she takes what she wants, and then she regrets it later, and like always breaks my heart.

Once I stepped outside my room, the noise made me nauseous I started to walk downstairs, and I could hear her voice in the middle of all the other noises.

I felt my heart calming down, but once my eyes met hers I knew what I was getting. Her eyes left mine to look at her hands, they were shaking. I was so mad I could feel the tears behind my eyes but I couldn't let them fall, not here. 

I could feel Jason a Patricia looking at me but I kept looking at my food, not eating.  They didn't press or asked questions.

From the corner of my eye, I saw her getting up and making her way outside, and I couldn't stay still anymore I need to know even though I already did deep down. I followed her. She went to the gardens it was quiet there but not for long the storm was coming, and we both could feel it.

"Why?" I said tears falling already down my face.

"Because, it was a mistake we should never keep whatever this is...this was, it was a mistake one that we can't undo now or ever but still a mistake. This is wrong, we can't."She said her voice trembling.

"You just remembered that now? Really...we have been kissing for how fucking long now, you could have just let it be when you said that it was enough that time, but you came after me again made me have FUCKING HOPE, so you could just fuck me, and leave me when you get scared again...well you didn't look that worried while doing it yesterday did you?
" I said feeling all the anger in my body, my heart breaking, thinking I give her my fucking virginity and my heart, she made me love her just to break my heart.

"I didn't mean to hurt you..." She said whispering, not looking into my eyes.

"You never do but guess what you hurt me every time and you don't even look  me in the eyes while you're doing it, and that's fucking infuriating!" I said stepping close to her to try and make her look at me but she didn't.

"LOOK AT ME GOD DAMITT!" I said screaming at her she just flinched but still didn't look, making me cry harder.

"And thinking that I almost said that I love you, you're just PLAYING ME...I gave you my fucking virginity...all for a fucking game you decided to play and then, and then...AHHH!! I HATE YOU!" I said the fight leaving every bone in my body, she was looking at me shocked, she tried to hold my hand but I just slapped it away.

"You love me...You're a virgin? Why didn't you tell me, I..." She said with a look of despair, but before she could finish the sentence I cut in.

"Why does it matter, it won't change shit will it..." I said starting to turn around, I just wanted to scream until I couldn't anymore.