The Symbol Of Darkness

㉑What The Hell Am I Supposed To Do Now?

 
An onslaught of white buried the mountain and stained its greenery after the heavy snowfall throughout the night.

Gusts of wind sprang up erratically, rattling among the trees. An absentminded figure gazed at the dance of white frosted feathers spiral in the icy air and stream down the snow-coated undergrowth. 

The scenery aroused a tinge of melancholy within Taehyung. It pooled over his chest in an insupportable mass until it dispersed, rolling off his skin and pouring out of his eyes. The tips of his lips hung tamely as his head rested against the frame of the window, his crossed legs over the bed starting to ache by the protracted stillness. 

Two knocks on the door disrupted the absolute silence of the room and drew his dull eyes towards the source. After a moment of nothingness, Jimin’s head peeped out through the partly opening of the door. His lips twitched, almost stretching into a smile, but the wreath of wistfulness persisted. 

“Can we come in?”

Taehyung adjusted his posture, leaning with his back against the headboard. “Yeah.”

Jimin entered with Yoongi trailing behind him. The latter closed the door before they seated themselves on the bed. Taehyung’s sullen state emanated from his existence — they didn’t have to regard him to gather it. They could sense it just by their entry to the room. 

But it wasn’t unusual. Since they could remember, Taehyung was always gloomy on snowy days. 

“How long have you been here?” Yoongi asked. 

“About two hours, I think. It was too depressing to stay at home.” His gaze traveled out the window again, caching the fluttering of the trees. His chest deflated with a sigh like the snow that plummeted from the leaves. “But it’s not that different here either.”

Jimin gloomed at his whisper. “What’s wrong, Tae? You’re always down when it’s snowing, but I feel like it’s not just that this time.”

“I met Jungkook yesterday,” he uttered, keeping his eyes away, “and he apologized for what he said. But... I kinda screwed up.”

“Wait, how did you meet?” Yoongi asked. “Did you call him?”

“No. Soo Gun asked me to meet him at a bar, and Jungkook was there. Soo Gun groped me and basically forced himself on me. Jungkook—”

“Ugh, that fucker!” Jimin grumbled in sudden fury. 

“I know,” Taehyung sighed. “Jungkook saw what happened and pulled him away. He followed me home. I let him in because he didn’t have his coat with him. And we talked. But as I said, I think I screwed up at the end.”

“What did you do?” Yoongi questioned. 

“I kinda... asked him to have sex with me.”

“Taehyung,” Jimin said with a spark of disapproval. 

“I couldn’t help it, okay? I wanted some comfort. I wanted to get rid of the feeling of Soo Gun’s mouth on me. I remember how soothing it felt when I had sex with Jungkook. I just... wanted to feel it again.”

Jimin let out a sigh of understanding. “Okay. And he got mad?”

“I’m not sure. He just wanted to run away. I told him just a no was enough. But he said he didn’t want to say no. That was why he wanted to leave.”

Yoongi frowned. “So he wanted to have sex with you too, but he said no? I don’t understand.”

“Yeah, me neither. He said he couldn’t say yes. What bullshit is that? Why couldn’t he?”