The Symbol Of Darkness

㉛You Should Be Happy Now

Taehyung cried himself to sleep that night and woke up numb and drained. It hurt that he wanted to kiss Jungkook and couldn't. It hurt that he wanted to share bits and pieces of himself and couldn't. It hurt that he had to pretend. Everything fucking hurt, and his strength was constantly thinning out. He wasn't sure for how much longer he could do this anymore.

He didn't want to work. It was the first time in seven years that he loathed the idea of working. He lied to Jin Mo that he was reviewing the file of his next mission, and he stayed home, doing absolutely nothing like when he was injured.

Even his two best friends couldn't elevate his mood. He was in a sulk, as if he were a kid who got rejected cruelly by his first crush.

Jungkook didn't like him that way. It wasn't possible. Although the attraction between them was apparent, he only kissed him because Taehyung teased him. He wasn't sure if he was relieved about that or not. A part of him was because Jungkook wouldn't care if they stopped talking, but another part of him wanted Jungkook to care. Wanted Jungkook to like him that way. Just as Taehyung liked him.

He couldn't avoid him, though. He had a mission to finish, and he longed for an opportunity to do so more than ever at that moment. Maybe if he finished his mission and cut contact with him, he would forget him. He would stop craving his touch. He would stop pining to kiss him.

Or maybe he would go fucking insane.

🥀

Jungkook scolded and cursed himself in every chance he got throughout the day.

What the fuck is wrong with me? This question flashed up into his mind often and urged him to smack himself, hoping it would bring some sense into him. But he couldn't do that. Everyone at the station would think he finally became deranged, and it was already bad enough that he sighed and shook his head and muttered things indistinctly every now and then.

He couldn't give them more reasons to believe that.

He began examining the CCTV in Daegu for any clue that could help him, but his concentration was a challenge. Only when a report came in he managed to take his mind off the awkward mess with Taehyung completely, and by the time they finished collecting evidence and interviewing witnesses, it was after nine — one hour before their shift would end.

Jungkook wasn't planning to go home anytime soon since he had to finish reviewing the CCTV. In order to do that, he needed his full concentration and he could only get it if he found out how things were between him and Taehyung. Was it awkward for him, too? Was he thinking about him all day, too? Was Jungkook overthinking this while it was just a meaningless mistake?

Sitting at his desk alone after eleven at night, Jungkook stared at his phone, his thumb ghosting over Taehyung's number. The infernal battle of contemplation went on for over ten minutes, and he tapped on his number at the end.

His heart made little jumps as he brought the phone to his ear, and with every beep that sounded, the little jumps switched to mild bursts.

"Hey."

Jungkook flinched to a straighter position, as if someone had just pinched his side. "Hey. Um, how are you?"

"I'm good." His voice was cheerful, but it didn't match the gloom in his eyes. "It was a boring day. I'm glad you called."

Jungkook's brows curved up in slight, pleasant surprise. Taehyung sounded fairly normal, like nothing had happened. It brought a smile to his lips. "Yeah, uh, I wanted to call earlier, but I was kind of busy."

"It's okay. It's after eleven, so you finished work, right?"

"Yeah, but I'll stay to view the CCTV close to the address Jeo Soon gave us. And maybe I can track his moves too."