The Symbol Of Darkness

㉝How Can I Fix It?

 
As if the skies shared the same blackness that had flooded Taehyung’s chest, dark-gray, tempestuous clouds ranged over the sky, swallowing up every glimmer of sunlight. 

The heartache was too crushing to withstand. The moment Jungkook gave over to tears kept coming back, eddying and leaping, like leaves blown by gusts of air. It barred the heart-wrenching slew of emotions from wearing off even by a fraction. 

God, he hated himself so much. Not only he lied to Jungkook about everything and played him, but he also hurt him, made him cry. What he wanted to avoid happened, and he couldn’t do anything about it. He would hurt him either way since Jungkook apparently cared like Taehyung did for him. 

It was a scenario he never thought it would transpire. He didn’t even have the tiniest of suspicion that it could occur. Sure, he could feel that Jungkook cared for him, but enough for him to sob? Enough for him to beg Taehyung to retract his words and strive to make him stay? It was excruciatingly unexpected. 

The thought that maybe he should tell him the truth often breached from the depths of his desperation to explain himself, but it drowned just as quickly. He couldn’t do that. At best, Jin Mo would beat him to a pulp if he didn’t kill him instantly. Although, it wouldn’t make that much of a difference. He already felt dead inside. 

Through his complete wretchedness, Sa Rang suddenly emerged. He was still clueless about why she hadn’t revealed his real identity to Jungkook, but he had to let her know that whatever business he had with her son ended. It was the only way to protect her from Jin Mo, because if she told Jungkook about him, he would kill her without a second thought. 

The least he could do was keep Jungkook’s family safe. 

. . .

It was late in the afternoon when he rallied any dreg of his fortitude to arise from his nest of torment and hopelessness. A perpetual fog of grimness hung over his face, that tugged at the tips of his mouth, making them droop. His once lurid eyes were now hollow, sunken into their sockets and cushioned by thick, dark pouches. They manifested the little sleep he got last night and seemed always at the ready to brim with tears. 

He dragged his frail body, along with his ponderous heart, out of his apartment. He drove to Sa Rang’s house slowly and carefully, as his unfocused condition was too dangerous for him to go faster. 

He spotted her car outside of the house and parked next to it. He took off his helmet and hung it on the wheel, then plodded towards the entrance. He stuttered to an abrupt halt as the door flung open and Sa Rang came out, holding a bag in one hand. 

Sa Rang’s eyes went wide with surprise that locked her muscles. 

“Before you yell at me and kick me out of here, I’m here because I have something to tell you about Jungkook,” Taehyung was quick to say. He discerned a crease of worry blooming between her brows that puzzled him. He thought she’d be furious by his presence again, but she seemed strangely calm instead. 

Sa Rang pulled herself out of her stillness and shut the door behind her. She neared him slowly, and the crease between her brows deepened as she took in the weariness that waltzed around his face and his haggard eyes. 

“You were right. Jin Mo had given me a mission. That’s why I approached Jungkook. But I finished my mission and cut contact with him. You don’t have to worry anymore.” While he expected to see relief break out on her face, she seemed even more agitated and thoughtful. Her reactions kept baffling him, and he was too exhausted to delve into them. 

“When... did you cut contact with him?” 

“Yesterday.”

Her downcast eyes roamed all over the ground as her shoulders curled inwards. “Is that why my Jungkookie...”