Title Goes Here

Chapter one

     I hate my life. My life sucks ass. Sometimes, I wish I could just die. I mean, yeah I'm a Junior now, I get to graduate next year. Yippee... I guess.

My name is Finn by the way. Finn Foster. I'm 14. Now, you may be wondering how I'm 14 but I'm a junior. Well, my mom fucked up on the registrations when I was in kindergarten. I was put into a 1st grade class and we just never switched it. Then, the principal decided I was genius for my age in 4th grade so I skipped 5th grade and went right to middle school.

     My little sister Peyton died last June. Nobody knows how her and her friends died, but my dad got arrested for it. I know it's not him, because we were playing Mario Kart when we heard the knock. We paused the game, and I saw them dead on the doorstep right when the door opened.

     I feel guilty. Like it's somehow my fault, like if I never said no to her when she asked to hang out with me earlier that day nothing would've happened. It was all over the news. Everyone knew my sister had died, but nobody seemed to have any care that I was dealing with so much depression after that. Oop

     A little bit more about me is that I'm pansexual and non-binary. I know right, I'm such a freak, well you can't hurt me universe, everything you can think of was said you me. "Quirky?" Every single day. "Different." Yup. Oh, and I've been called the f slur and t slur so many times, that doesn't hurt me anymore. Oh, and my deadname? Yup.

Last year there was this thing that my ex friend Isaac Hanson made where he made people try to guess my deadname, and if they got it right he'd give them $100. People made all these crazy names or they'd pick the most basic white girl names every to call me. That ran on for a few months until people stopped trying to guess it, but only a few weeks after that, someone called me "Florence" as a joke because apparently that day I was dressed like an "Italian grandma." Unfortunately, that is my deadname, so Isaac gave them the $100 for guessing it, and that's when people called me my deadname.

I'm never talking to Isaac ever again after that. He's tried talking to me in gym, but I just ignore him. Besides, it's better off to just ignore your problems instead of confronting them.

Anyways, on to a happier topic. I'm in a band with my friends. River Nelson is lead singer, Rylie Johnson plays bass, Luke Carlson plays drums, and I'm guitarist and backup singer. We rehearse every single day after school. Me and Luke are also in our schools band and choir together. River and Rylie are also in choir.

Me and Luke have been best friends since the first day of middle school. Both of us chose drums in band, and nobody else in our class did, so we talked a little bit, and then we became friends.

Even though we're best friends, people always think that we're dating. It's honestly so annoying. Even our 7th grade science teacher, Mr. Matthews, always put us at other sides of the classroom so we didn't "do things" which is very surprising that he thought that considering we were in 7th grade and was just starting to learn about that stuff. There's also the fact that Luke thought that people shouldn't kiss when there 12.

     Luke has dirty blonde hair with a few waves. It's short, but not extremely short. His eyes are hazel, and his skin is pale with a few freckles over his nose. He has dimples when he smiles, and he's very insecure about them. He tries not to smile, or if he does, he hides his face in his hoodie so nobody sees. I don't know why he's insecure about them, I think they are cute and unique. He's very shy, but when he's with people he trusts, he breaks out of his shell. Luke is also "short". What I mean is, he's average height, but everyone says he's short, even though 5'8 is not short... well, compared to the 7 foot giants, maybe.

     River is an inch taller than Luke. They have dyed red hair that goes down to their chin, brown eyes, tanned skin, and rosie cheeks. They have their septum peirced with 2 or 3 ear piercings and a tounge piercing. They are very energetic, and sometimes jump off the walls. They have Tourette's syndrome, and get bullied pretty often for it. They don't have tics while hanging out with us. I'm pretty sure it's because they feel safe and break out of their shell when their with us. They also feel comfortable playing with our band, even while doing shows.

     Rylie is very short. She is only 5'1, which compared to us is very very tiny. She has light brown wavy hair that almost goes to her elbow. She has curtain bangs as well. Her skin is pale and she has many freckles covering her face. She often wears a full face of makeup. Not to impress anyone or because she feels insecure, she just wears it to wear it. I don't understand why people would choose to wear makeup unless they want to cover something up, but I guess everyone's different.

Our band is called "Rain Clouds and Shadows." I don't know how or why we came up with it, but that's just what we chose. I think it's fitting. The rain clouds represents depression and the shadows represents being outcasts and unseen.

     Anyways, today was Monday. My alarm rang, I showered, got dressed, brushed my hair and teeth, grabbed a granola bar and energy drink, then went to school. I always rode my skateboard to school. Sine Luke's house is on my way to school, we'd often skateboard to school together. I grabbed my backpack and grabbed my skateboard. I rode to his house and texted him to let him know I was at his house.

     His garage door slowly opened as he appeared with his skateboard in his hand. "Hey," he said.
     "Hi," I said back. He softly smiled and looked down at his feet. "You seem like your in a good mood today,"
      "Kind of, yeah," Luke responded.
      "What do you mean 'kind of'?"
     "Kind of because I am in a good mood, but I'm also really really dreading going to school."
     "Aren't we all? School is hell, nobody wants to be here."
     "That's true," he said as he put his skateboard on the ground. I set mine down too, and we started riding to school. Like usual, we didn't say much, we just exchanged looks. Looks that only our band knows what it means. We had a couple laughs and smiles, but it was mostly just talking with facial expressions.

     It takes about 5 minutes on days where there's minimal traffic. Today was not one of those days. We had to wait for a train to pass which added an extra couple of minutes. Honestly, I wished that train was longer or it got stuck so we didn't have to go to school yet. We hit a few red lights, but we got to school with about three minutes to get to class.

     Luckily, our first class was band which is right by the doors we enter and exit from every day. We made it to band, then choir, then I had geometry, science, English, US history, and gym. The day felt as if it took hours, but I finally finished it. I had a test in geometry and an essay in English, and I swear the time was way slower than normal today.