Finding Keefe (Sokeefe)

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Sophie would like to say she's never felt this way before.
But truth is, she had.
When her human family was captured and used in Vespera's cruel experiments.
Zombie-like, Dex described.
No laughs.
No smiles.
No blushes.
No tears.
No emotions.
Her mind wouldn't - couldn't settle on one.
Keefe was gone.
And this time he wasn't coming back.

She should be out of bed.
She should be working.
Trying to find Keefe.
Trying to find a solution.
Trying to be strong when people needed her.
But...she couldn't bring herself to do it.
To do anything in fact.

Getting out of bed required a lot of willpower.
Going to foxfire was already difficult enough.
She barely noticed time pass.
Just the same things everyday.
Wake up.
Go to school.
Come back.
Repeat.
Over, and over, and over.
Everyone was probably concerned for her, but she couldn't even tell.
She didn't pay attention to anyone, anything.

The heartache was too much.
She didn't realize how much she needed him until he left.
And now he was gone...
Forever.

She couldn't even cry anymore.
Not since the last tear fled down her cheek.
She cried for almost the whole day after he left, besides the hours she had spent at school (because Magnate Leto had stated it would boost her morale to speak to some of her other friends, but he didn't force her. Sophie took him up on the offer only because she had to stay strong and look somewhat okay.) and she had avoided basically everyone she knew.

She didn't listen in class, (in fact she was very tempted to ditch and hang out in the principals office because Magnate Leto would let her, not that that sounded particularly exciting) or listen at all even.
She was zoned out.

She had learned not to think about Keefe.
Try to keep him as far away from her thoughts as she could.
But for some reason, her mind always wandered there eventually.
To his ice blue eyes.
His perfectly messy blonde hair.
His teasing smirk.
His imperfections that somehow managed to be all too perfect at the same time.
His ups.
His downs.
Their shared experiences, memories, pain, and trauma.
He had known her better than anyone else.
Better than she knew herself in fact.

Her heart was heavy.
Like a weight placed in her chest.
Weighing her down.
Keeping her under.
She couldn't bring herself to do anything.

Come to think of it, she couldn't even remember the last time she had eaten- not that it matters. Food was the least of Sophie's concerns. There were more important things anyway. Edaline had brought her food every single day. Sometimes Sophie would take a few bites. Most of the time she would just pick at it, and never actually eat it. Edaline had even tried bringing Sophie mallowmelt and custard bursts, but nothing had made a difference.

She was too hurt to eat. Or sleep. Or get up. Or go anywhere. Or do anything.

Most of the time she spent was in bed, listening to music on her IPod, or cuddling Ella and just laying under the covers. Watching time pass, pass, pass.

The only other things she really had the willpower for was to shower, change, brush her teeth, and look somewhat presentable. All to contribute to the 'I'm totally fine!' ordeal she was currently playing.

She hadn't spoken to any of other friends much, if at all, not that many were keen to speak to her in return. Most of them were still mad about the storehouse fire. The only people who seemed over it now were Dex, Biana, Linh, and Marella. Fitz seemed especially agitated. He seems to think Sophie should have acted considering him in mind- as if she needed him. Newsflash: she didn't. He wasn't her knight in shining armor, though he seemed to love thinking he was. And she wasn't some Damsel in distress anymore. She was strong. And she was ready to fight back.

Well...when she could, that was.

The Neverseen had taken so much from her. It was only fair that they deserved a little payback. And they still had some coming.

She needed revenge, strength, and confidence. And with those thoughts, the dreaded, beautiful face of a handsome boy resurfaced in her mind.

A boy whose face was content with confidence and always had a smirk. A boy whose face masked sadness and anger. A boy whose face hid his true emotions. A boy whose face had past trauma. A boy whose face was so imperfectly perfect. A boy whose face was adorable.

Wait...adorable?
But that isn't right.
Sophie is supposed to like Fitz.
And he's supposed to like her back.
And they're supposed to get married, and live a golden life.
The life Sophie had wanted since the day she met his striking teal eyes.
It was almost a reality.
It was perfect.
Just what Sophie had been dreaming about, ever since he started speaking to her.

She was supposed to live like this.
So why did feelings with Fitz always feel so...artificial? She once had the biggest crush on him. But now her heart barely fluttered. She thought she still liked him. But whenever he filled her mind, her head auto-reverted to the emotions of anger, fear, and disappointment. He never seemed content with her being her.
But...he had said that he only wanted to see her name on the match list.

This was how it was meant to go.
She was supposed to have a golden life, settling down with a boy who made her heart flutter and her stomach somersault.
But...she couldn't even remember the last time she had felt those feelings. It's like...they had faded.

It could've been the numbness, or it could've been her brain messing with her. But...this felt different. Her heart was missing a piece. One close to her emotional cortex. And Fitz wasn't the piece of the puzzle that clicked there. Someone else did. Maybe all this time, her head wanted Fitz but her heart wanted someone else. She had just told herself she had liked him possibly. But emotions from the heart were pure. They never lied. Only one piece could fix her and make her whole again.

The missing piece was a boy with ice blue eyes and masterfully disheveled blonde hair. The one who had always been supportive of her. Always been by her side when his life was harder. The one she related to the most. The one with the confidence and snarkiness Sophie had adored. The one with a heavily attractive smirk. The one named...

Keefe.

And the minute the name hit her brain, the pieces began to click. And Sophie's heart felt a little lighter. She even felt a little...restored. But besides all of that, she felt one more thing.

She felt whole.

~ Hi everyone! Sorry if there's any mistakes all of this is typed on iPhone! I hope you're enjoying so far and lmk what you think! Tysm and love you all 💕
- Your author 💕 ~