collided

the boy in the cemetery

I stirred in my bed, restless. The promise of sleep taunting me, my mind refusing to shut down. I lay in bed and stared blankly at the ceiling, before turning my body over to face the small alarm clock on the nightstand. I watch the seconds tick by, painfully slow. Counting each second rhythmically to maybe try to drift into sleep through hypnosis. But of course that didn't work.

"Why can't I just sleep?" I groan out in frustration towards the emptiness of the room.

After a while, I decided to give up trying to force myself to sleep as it clearly wasn't working. I swung both my legs over the edge of the bed and stood up, tiptoeing over to the window.

From what I could see, this El Paso neighbourhood looked so pretty at night. The stark, desolate streets of the city rested in silence as the starry black sky wept over it. The small, green palm trees on the roadside swayed as the gentle desert breeze hit them.

I wanted to explore it further.

I grabbed my oversized maroon hoodie from my closet and threw it on over my head, tucking every strand of hair into the hood before yanking it down just above my eyes. I've always done this when walking alone at night. It makes me feel safer if I hide my hair and body, to hide any sign of femininity. Aside from my petite frame, it was hard to tell I was a young girl if I kept my head down.

Even though I dress myself in dark baggy clothes the majority of the time - I have a nice body. I've always been told I need to show it off more. I have a slim but shapely figure, with a flat belly and a small tapered waist, giving me a soft hourglass figure. A full, but perky chest that sits nicely below my prominent collar bones. It's not that I'm insecure about my shape, I just didn't want to draw attention to myself like that.

I slipped on my beat-up converse by the front door, not even bothering to tie the laces and before I knew it I was skipping down the stairs - leading me down towards the empty streets. The sound of my rings scraping against the steel handrail filled the air as my hand trailed down the cold metal.

I had no clue where I was heading, I just walked. Making sure to keep a mental image of where I was and everything I passed, ensuring I didn't get lost in the unfamiliar location.

The warm breeze hit my face as I continued wandering the sidewalks aimlessly. The clouds wrapped themselves around the full moon that hung low in the night sky. The faint glow passed through them, coloring them white. The streets of the city rested in a lifeless silence except the distant chirping of crickets.

After a couple more moments of strolling I stumble upon a large iron lettering reading 'Concordia', towering above my head. I peer out through the fence below the sign and make out a cemetery - overrun with crumbling concrete headstones and old wooden crosses gone askew. It's a raggedy expanse; no lush green grass or pretty flowers here, it's stark and dusty.

This must be the cemetery Olive mentioned earlier today. I can see why it creeps her out now.

I lift the rusty latch, push open the gate, and quietly enter the desolate graveyard. As I respectfully walk toward the headstones, I notice that most of them are damaged and faded with the passage of time. I can tell that the cemetery is more than a 100 years old by some of the legible inscriptions.

I continue to walk the dusty path through each gravesite, barely picking my feet up as I do so. I was so consumed with reading each headstone that I trip on the lace of my untied converse and go staggering forward, kicking over a Pepsi can on the ground as I almost completely fall face first into the gravel. I luckily steadied myself and regained my composure before I did.

"¿Qué chingados te pasa?"Are you fucking drunk?" A deep voice growled from beside me, laced with a Mexican accent.

I looked over my right shoulder and caught sight of a long haired boy beginning to stand up beside the Pepsi can I just knocked over - it's sugary brown liquid spilt all over the ground. He must've been sitting down with his back leant against the headstone before I came along and kicked his drink over.

Fuck. 

He fully stood up, towering over me with his extremely long frame. His slender body dressed in dark jeans and a Black Sabbath T-shirt hung loosely over his broad shoulders. Before I could make out his facial features, the palm of his hand suddenly made contact with my shoulder, and with a flash of pain - he forcibly shoved me into the ground.

I was on my back looking up at him from under my hood, the whole of my body paralysed in fear. My lip began to tremble and my heart was racing uncontrollably. His sharp face and unruly curls were backlit by the glow of the silver moonlight. Even from his silhouette - he looked pissed. Arched eyebrows were pulled close together, lip curled into an angry snarl, hands balled into tight fists by his side.

"Fucking idiota!" He roared as he began to swing his leg back, ready to kick me as I lay beneath him.

"No, I'm sorry! I'm sorry I tripped!" I desperately yelled before he could hurt me, my voice sounding fragile and full of terror.

I could see him take a step back as he heard my girlish voice, clearly taken aback. His face softened and he relaxed his clenched fists, raising an arm up to run his large hand through his curls, brushing them back from his forehead.

"Fuck. I didn't realise you were-" He said with a now gentle tone, chewing on his lip while shaking his head. "Shit. Come on, let me help you up." He lent down, extending his arm out towards me, waiting for me to take my hand in his.

I gazed up, my eyes locked onto his. They were dark, almost black. Expressive and penetrating.
I took hold of his calloused hand while still looking into those deep almond shaped eyes. His grip was tight around my small hand as he pulled me to my feet. Damn he was tall, easily more than a foot taller than me.

Now I stood up, I could get a clearer view of his features. His hair was a perfect mop of dark brown, cascading over his chiselled cheekbones and sharp jawline. Full lips sat nicely on his warm complexion.

He's gorgeous.

"You good? Look, I'm sorry I pushed you like that but fucking watch where you're going next time, yeah?" The boy hissed, examining my face. His eyes trailed down from my eyes to my lips, then back up to my eyes - my stomach doing somersaults as he did.

"Um I-I'm sorry. Yeah I-I will."  My voice was still trembling as I replied. I hung my head down, breaking eye contact to stare at my feet.

"I uhh gotta go." I said with my gaze still secured on my dirty shoes.

Without waiting for a response, I quickly span around - not even looking back up. I practically ran out of the cemetery gate and headed back towards Olive's apartment, the whole way my cheeks burning crimson out of pure embarrassment.

I snuck back quietly into the apartment, kicking off my shoes before I crept down the hall to my room. I threw myself on the bed and faced the ceiling, holding my painful shoulder with my opposite hand.

I stayed in this position, replaying the events over and over again in my head for hours as I drifted off to sleep. My last thoughts being his perfectly sculpted face and piercing brown eyes. The way I felt when his those same eyes stared into my green ones.

His deep voice and tall body.
His large hands and messy hair.
They way I could be petrified one moment to being completely infatuated the next.

But of course I didn't even know him. He's probably a weirdo. I embarrassed myself too much to ever be able to face him again.