Into the Mind and Through the Heart

I Knew When

People often don't know when they knew the moment it was over, but I did.
I knew when I was on the bathroom floor,
With claw marks on my stomach,
Crying my eyes out while you sat in the other room,
Playing games with your friends.

I knew when I started seeking validation from others,
Knowing I couldn't get it from you.
I knew when I stopped texting you first thing in the morning
And I knew when you stopped being the last text of the night.
I knew when, instead of comforting you,
I rolled my eyes or made excuses.

I knew when I couldn't do it anymore.
When I was spending time by myself,
Using every excuse in the book not to see you.
And I feel horrible, for the way I've gone about it

But can you blame me?
Why would I want to stay with someone who made me feel so..
Small?
Why would I continue to give my heart away,
To someone who didn't appreciate it?
But the thing is,
I loved you until I couldn't anymore
And you only loved me when it was convenient.

I knew when I walked away from a fight without tears,
For the first time ever.