Into the Mind and Through the Heart

Grief Comes in Waves

When someone close to you passes, it tears you apart.
It's a whole body experience.
Tears are flooding, your face is swollen,
Head pounding and a sore throat from screaming in pure agony.
People constantly expressing their condolences.
You feel as if your whole world is exploding and there's nothing you can do.

For a while you don't want to accept it,
Rather you can't. You physically can't accept it.
You're tired all the time from all the tears that have been shed.
You're mixed up in family and friends and people
Constantly asking you how you're doing and how you feel,
When in reality you don't even know how you feel because everything is a blur.

But it's the time after that, that no one talks about.
Its the months after that are the hardest.
When everyone thinks you're doing better,
And you think you are and all of a sudden, you're not.
It's Christmas and you see something in the shop that they would have loved.
When it's their birthday and you can't tell them happy birthday.
When all of your biggest accomplishments and achievements are happening,
And they're not there to see it.

When you see a funny meme and you go to send it to them but you can't.
When you're trying to heal but you keep breaking down
And no one understands why and you can't tell them
Because it's been six months you should be over it now right.
Wrong.