Our Kiddo

Well that was a bit shit

Tomorrow was the 5th of December. The day of the delayed FA Cup Final. They were playing at Wembley and even after extensive meetings with the psychiatrist, Evie was terrified.

Leah didn't mention it. She didn't want to make the poor girl even more scared.

Their evenings usually consisted of watching TV and having a chat but Evie was so nervous she couldn't even get any words out.

At ten o'clock, Leah suggested that they went up to bed. This was too much for Evie and she began to struggle to breathe. Going to bed meant tomorrow was getting closer. And tomorrow was terrifying.

"Hey. Hey baby it's okay," Leah said as she rushed and scooped the girl into her arms.

"I can't do it," Evie replied sadly, her breathing much faster than usual.

"Come on follow my breathing. That's it. Well done," Leah said. Evie followed her breaths and managed to get herself back to normal.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"Don't be sorry kiddo. The first game at Wembley is big. I understand where you're coming from," Leah reassured her. Evie's head was resting on her chest and she rubbed her back in an attempt to keep her calm.

"I don't think I can play. It's too scary. I can't. I'll only mess up."

"Sometimes Evie you can be a bit of an idiot. You are an incredible player. England scored 11 goals in two games and you were involved in every single one."

"But-," Evie tried to say but Leah cut her off.

"But nothing kid. I'm right and you know I am. You're good enough and I know you're scared but you'll do amazing. I believe in you."

Evie just lay in silence, mulling over her words.

"I still don't think I can do it."

"What can I do to prove that you're a good player? Everyone else can see it but you can't. Has something happened that's just shot all your confidence?"

"I can trust you Leah, can't I?"

"With anything," Leah replied.

"My parents always told me that I'd never be good enough. Not just football but everything. I was a disappointment to them. When I was playing at U14s we had a stand in coach for a few months. He was horrible. He put me down constantly. He hated us all but he was particularly mean to me. He said I shouldn't have been allowed into the club, that I would never make anything of my life and stuff like that. Then my old coach came back and life carried on but I always hear his voice. Whenever I make a mistake it's his voice telling me what I've done wrong," Evie explained.

"Oh Evie you don't deserve to be thinking like that. It's one stupid coach. Don't let him ruin your career through nerves."

***

The teams were about to head out to warm up. Evie was terrified. She wanted this but she didn't know if she could do it.

Jen noticed how pale and terrified she looked and went sat next to her.

"I know this seems like a big deal but just picture everybody naked and it'll be fine," she said. Evie looked at her like she had an extra head.

"What?" Jen asked. Evie began to laugh.

"Thanks Jen," Evie said as she got to her feet and joined the others going out onto the pitch.

The roar of the crowd blew Evie away. She'd never played in front of this many people before. A panic began to rise inside her before Beth kicked a ball to her feet.