Why I did it

Chapter 6

A coppery smell filled my nose. I can't seem to get rid of it. The blood stained my hands no matter how many times I washed them. Am I going crazy?? Oh God please forgive me. I don't know why I did it. I blacked out, I still see him. His pale lifeless body. All the blood. Gods I can't get the smell to go away. I feel like I'm covered in blood no matter how many showers I take.

They say blood smells like metal, they were right. The scent seeped into every pore. I've scrubbed myself raw in boiling hot showers. I can get that smell to go away. It in my hair, seeped into every orifice. I-

A slap to my head knocked me out of my thoughts. Ariel stood in front of me with an amused expression. "I don't think I've ever seen you this out of it." She sighs and sits down next to me. "Penny for your thoughts??" It's been a week since I met with chase. I know she heard the news. Chase was found in the parking lot. No fingerprints, no evidence of who did it. They knew it was foul play, they just couldn't figure out who would do this.

To be honest I freaked out when I came to. I wiped the knife and the car. My hair everywhere could be explained by us still being newly broken up. There were no cars out so I stripped the bloody clothes off and ran behind a bush to change into clean ones. I still have some extra clothes in his car. I wiped the blood off me as best I could and ran home. Taking a shower to clean the rest off.

I shook my head, playing off my tears as ones of sadness. She sighed again and brought her arm around me pulling me close to her again. "You're upset about Chase aren't you." I nodded.

"It's just so scary. I was right there you know. If we hadn't gotten into another fight I might've been dead with him." They suspected that he died when we were supposed to be together. I told Ariel that I took a cab home and paid cash. And that he ripped the outfit I wore so I had to throw it out. She'd seen the bruises and believed me. I can't believe I had stayed with him after the sixth time he dislocated my thumb and left a bruise on my neck from choking me.

She nodded and held me tighter to her. The grief counselor told me that since we had been so close and our break up was still fresh that I should take the week off. So I did. Ariel would show up at my house everyday after school to bring my school work and just check up on me. I honestly believe that if he hadn't- if I hadn't killed him she would have. I had a feeling she knew more than she was letting on. But I wouldn't- I couldn't let her know what I did. Chase was an aspiring soccer player. One of the best in the state. Police were all over it.

Ariel left for the night and I was left alone again. I finished the homework while she was here so I didn't have anything to do. I curled up on my bed trying to calm my heart down. The shock was finally wearing off. And what was left scared me.

Because all that was left was that fire. Still burning hot. A part of me liked the adrenaline. The rush that came when I first stabbed him. Feelings of getting my revenge for every dislocated limb. Every bruise. Every split lip I had to cover. I knew I wanted to feel it more. That disgusting part of me was starting to win over the rest of me.

I felt the strong urge to do it again. I needed to do it again. I will do it again. A smile broke out over my face. The thought of revenge left me feeling happier, elated. He wasn't the only one who hurt me. They would pay. All of them would pay. For now I just needed to lay in the shadows. Bide my time. Be more ready next time. I can't wait.