Why I did it

Chapter 9

I saw more of Kai as the days went on. Turns out we had some classes together. And he always sat next to me in those classes. Peering over at my drawing or looking at the book I was reading. I would just watch him out of my peripheral and keep up with the lectures. Smiling when he couldn't understand my notes.

Each time the bell rang I would race out of the class. But he always found me in the halls. It's like he would follow me. Like before he said hi to me that day he memorized my route between classes. Hell maybe he had. Tony texted me more since I told him what had happened. Ariel made sure to escort me to class. The whole time I was thinking of different ways to kill him.

Now you're talking. That voice said in art class. I had been thinking of torturing Kai slow and painfully when it snapped me out of it. I shook my head softly and went back to focus on the current project. A monochromatic painting. Finishing up the drawing and starting on the paints I heard my phone go off.

Quinn(3rd hour): Hey did you get the notes today? I had to miss most of it.

Breathing out a sigh of relief I typed back a 'yeah' and went back to my project. My phone buzzed again and I picked it up thinking it was Quinn again.

Kai Reiner: You still stuck out your tongue when you're concentrating.

Me: Correct me if I'm wrong. But stalking can get you back in jail.

Kai Reiner: Oh I love it when you're cold, Rae.

He attached a picture of me in class. I snapped my head over to the door but no one was there. Starting to shake I take a few deep breaths and concentrate back on my project. Trying to calm my hands as I pick up the paint brush. Starting with the lightest color. I get lost in the artwork when the bell goes off. And I jump, before I let out a breath of relief. I gathered my stuff and headed out the door. Before I run into something tall and unmoving. I looked up to see a pair of green eyes looking back down at me.

A smirk blooms across his acne ridden face and froze me again. My mouth opens and closes. My phone vibrates, breaking me out of my daze.

Ariel: Bitch, where tf are you???? You're gonna miss out on the good shit if you don't hurry.

I laugh to myself as I read her message. And look back up at Kai. "I- sorry I gotta go."

He tilts his head. "Mind if I walk with you?"

YES I FUCKING MIND! "Not at all." I force a smile on my face as we walk to the cafeteria. I ended up getting subway today and meet up with Ariel with Kai trailing behind me. She gives me a look and I just subtly shrug and sit down. She kept giving me looks throughout lunch. Silently checking in. I looked back at her. Silently telling her that I did not agree with this easily. Her eyes narrow slightly and I just softly shake my head.

Kai looks between the two of us like he's trying to figure out the secrets between us. His eyes land on mine before he smirks again and leaves. I take a few extra seconds to control my breathing before sitting down.

"Okay, bitch, what the fuck?"

I look up at Ariel as my eyes start stinging. "I- I don't know. He stood outside my class and started walking with me." I take a deep breath. "I didn't wanna make him mad." He would always punch the walls right next to me when he got mad. Just to let me know he could hit me if he wanted to. But he never did. Or at least never had the chance to.

Ariel put her hand on my shoulder and squeezed. I played my head on her shoulder as the tears started to fall. She puts her arm around my shoulder and squeezes until a comfortable pressure surrounds me. Within a few minutes the tears have stopped and my stomach starts growling.

I move to sit up and shake my head. Like my brain is an etch-a-sketch that needs to be cleared. Ariel looks at me, making sure I'm okay. I smile and nod before wiping my eyes and taking a deep breath. I pick at my food, tearing the bread apart before forcing myself to eat it. Ariel would shove it down my throat if she thought I was gonna toss it.

"Babes," Ariel starts. "Are you sure you're okay?"

I think back to the past few months. When I fought chase, when he dumped me. When I saw Kai again. Then my vision fills with red. The day I killed Chase fills my vision until I have to squeeze my eyes closed to make it go away. I still feel the warm, sticky blood coating my hands and face. The metallic smell still invading my nose. The numbness that coursed through my body when I made the first stab.

I don't realize I'm shaking until Ariel grasped my shoulders. "-ae!" My eyes fly open and land on hers. I shake my head again. She brushes my hair back and makes me look at her. "I called your name. You didn't move. I was worried." She then grabs my shoulder and pulls me up with her. She drags me to a bathroom that was unoccupied and pushes me in. She locks the door and turns around. "Okay, spill. What's going on, my dude."

Shaking my head I slide down the wall until I'm in a ball on the floor. "I can't." I whisper. I look up to see her kneeling in front of me. Her eyes filled with worry.

"Babes-"

"I can't ari. I can't tell you." Her eyes softened as she reached for me. I flinch away from her touch and she pulls back her hand and nods. She sits next to me. And we just sit there in comfortable silence until the bell goes off. We both stand up and she pulls me in for a hug. After a second I hug her back and we part ways for our last few classes.

The ride home seemed to take less time than usual and the next thing I know is I'm in my room flopping down on my bed. My phone vibrates and I bring the screen up to my face.

Quinn(3rd hour): Hey you never got back to me. Still needing those notes.

Me: Sorry. Hectic day. Here.
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Quinn(3rd hour): Anything you wanna talk about?

I huff a laugh and type back a "no" before rolling off the bed and heading to let the dogs out. Quinn's never been nice to me, only faking to get my notes and school work. Or that one time he tried to go out with me to get in my pants. I roll my eyes and head to the kitchen to see what I can heat up for dinner. I heat up some leftovers and let the dogs back inside.

A few hours later dishes are cleaned and put away. And I've showered to try and clear my head. I'm sitting at my desk trying to draw my worries away. The picture just isn't turning out quite like I wanted and I groan in frustration. I pull out my earbuds and go to lay in bed. After much tossing and turning I finally tire myself out and fall into a restless sleep.