Why I did it

Chapter 5

Just 30 more minutes to go. I sighed to myself, and looked in the mirror one more time. Eyes grazing over my outfit making sure it was okay before I tore my eyes away hearing a text come in.

-you know I still think you're a dumb bitch right?

I smiled at Ariel's text and replied that I did. But that I had a plan. She replied and told me to be safe. And asked to see the outfit I picked out. Snapping a photo her response made me laugh.

-GODDAMN MY BESTIES A GODDESS!! MAKE THAT BITCH PAY!!

I laughed again. And set my phone down fussing at my hair once more before I stepped away and sat waiting for him to pull up. 10 minutes to go and I started pacing. I heard his car pull up and I quickly grabbed my knife I keep for emergencies and put it in my back pocket before I headed outside and locked the door.

I took a deep breath before I opened the door to his truck. Only a few weeks before we were in here and he dumped me. I closed the door and before I could collect myself I felt a pair of lips on mine. Instinctively I kissed back and my hand landed in his hair pulling him closer.

"I thought I was gonna get punched if I did that," he laughed as he pulled away. "I missed you Rae." His blue eyes looked into my different colored ones. And he smiled that small smile he always had around me. That fire came back. Burning hotter the more I looked at his face. In those eyes.

"I missed you too." I lied. After that first night it felt like I could breathe again. I was more alive without him. But that fire, that voice egged me on to see how this would go. So I listened. We pulled away from my house to go settle in an abandoned parking lot and he pulled me back in.

He kissed me harder and pulled me into his lap. The hatred and that fire kept burning hot. I hated him. I felt disgusted to have his hands back on my body. Under my shirt. But I endured it. He pulled my shirt off and started kissing lower. I faked every noise that came out. My hands trailed off to find it. My body was moving on autopilot. I had no control when my fingers clasped around cool metal. I hesitated before I pulled it closer. That damned voice coming back.

Come child. Make him pay. I hesitated more. Not knowing if this was the right choice. Not knowing if I could do it. I pulled his head back up and his lips met mine again.

You know what to do child. DO IT! DO IT NOW!

My hands trembled as the kiss got more heated. I opened my eyes slightly to see his usually proper hair falling from the slicked up style he put it in. I giggled softly and pulled away from the kiss. His darkened blue eyes looked at me in confusion. One of my hands caressed his face, his expression softened. He looked at me with a longing that made me sick. His eyes slowly closed, only to shoot open in disbelief. A bitter relief shot through me as his mouth hung open trying to grasp words.

I noticed blood start to dribble from the side of his mouth. I smiled sadistically as I slowly pulled out the knife making sure to turn it as I do.
I held it up to my face watching in fascination as the blood dripped from the blade back onto him. I glanced back at him.

"Rae I-how-"

"Chase honey" I laughed. "The past two years we spent together were, how should I say, not so great." His eyes widened more. I laughed again. "You cheated. You lied. You choke slammed me into a wall. You forced me into this impossible little box. And I still wasn't enough. Was I?" I swung the knife back down and it landed in his shoulder. "You hurt me. And when I started to fight back. To defend myself you didn't like that. To you I became too much. So you left." I made a superficial cut on his cheek. His eyes started to water. "I did everything for you. Everything you asked and I still wasn't enough."

I leveled the knife to his face. "You never wanted me did you?" The tears fell, he had never looked so pathetic. "But you know what" I turned the knife in had before looking at him again. I leaned in close to his lips and whispered, "you never even deserved me." I pulled back and saw his eyes widen once more before I took a final plunge into his chest. I started into those eyes I had loved so much. And I watched their light fade by my hand. His hands around my wrists slowly loosened. And his body went limp. I pulled the knife out again.