Desiderius Love

Chapter 1

I've always known that my family never loved me. They constantly remind me that the only reason I am still alive was to pawn me off to some old guy just so they could create a stronger connection or to gain something out of it. They would never love even if I am the perfect daughter my father has, even if I do everything for him without a complaint.

My father is the Capo of the west coast territory specifically the American mafia, he is feared by many including me. There are not many things that I am afraid of you, I've learned to never show fear because it makes you look weak and in this family they already see me as a weak person. My family has seen me cry multiple times, have seen me talk back before but the punishment that would come after, it would shut me up quickly. I know the reason why they treat me differently, I am my mother's killer. The day I was born, she died during childbirth and my father would have given me away but he decided against it just so he could use me. There are countless of days wishing it was me instead of my mother but sadly I am still here, sitting in my room with the lights not on and the speakers that are connected to my father's phone chanting the word murder throughout my room.

One thing I am definitely afraid of is the dark.

This was one of my punishment I had since I was a little kid, and the most effective. It is pitch black in my room besides the moonlight shining in through the skylight and I was all alone with my mind racing with the words 'murder' blaring in the background. I am a murderer and everyone sees me that way and nothing will change it.

My door knob started rattling and my heart rate picked up not knowing if my father is here to punish me more. I couldn't take anymore, my body was already weak and hurting me more would result in me passing out or landing in the hospital.

"Lucy, it's me" Roman called out as he stepped in with a flashlight. Roman is my guard and the only person who actually showed kindness to me. He is in his 30s and has been my bodyguard since I was 3. He would bring me presents on my birthday and Christmas as well as fly out to Switzerland where my boarding school was and spend Christmas break with me since my family did not want me home. He would calm me down before I lashed out and get in trouble and when I was younger and would have nightmares he would sing me a lullaby. He always tells me my painting are amazing and I should continue to sell my artwork. No one knew besides Roman but couple of times a week, he would help me sneak out so I could go to a nearby gallery and present my work. So far I haven't sold anything and I want to give up but Roman reminds me to keep trying.

Roman appeared by my nightstand as I push the blanket off of me and sit up. "I brought you some candles, a flashlight and sound proof headphones you can connect to your own music." That is another thing I love about Roman, he always looked out for me while no one else did. He was like a father to me more than my own father and treated me like a daughter. Him and his wife don't have kids yet but he tells me he hopes his kids turn out like me.

"Thank you" I smiled as I turned on the flashlight and he proceeded to light some candles

"What did you do this time?" He sighed knowing this wasn't the first time.