Eruri | No Regrets.

Chapter - 1

Levi got up from his chair and slowly walked to the window. He sat on the edge as the sound of pitter-patter filled the room. Nights like this reminded him of that unfortunate day. The day where he had lost the two he cherished the most; Isabel and Farlan.

It was a rainy on cool day just like this. It was foggy, and it made it nearly impossible to see. He had separated from his friends as they had a mission to follow...If only he had known better not to leave them unprotected, if only he had not let them get outside the walls in the first place. Before Levi could even think of anything, the memories of that day played back into his mind like CD, reminding him of all the pain and suffering he had caused his comrades.

That day, when a red eyed titan had appeared out of nowhere and devoured them right before his eyes. He had felt anger, rage, and agony. He had suffered many traumas in his life, but this one... this was a different kind of pain, the kind of pain one should never experience. And the pain Levi had swarn he would never feel again.

Levi never really loved nor hated the rain. He couldn't help but associate it with the deaths of his friends. It symbolizes the blood of every soldier that fought in this war for freedom  being washed away. Ever since that day, he had blamed himself for their deaths. If only he hadn't let his pride get the best of him, if only he had gone with them instead and disobeyed orders, if only

Before another word made his way to his mind, he slowly shifted his head, facing the ODM gear that was lying on the table at the center of the room.
He slowly walked over to it and picked up the blade, careful enough not to damage the metal but not carefully enough to cut himself. He examined the blade and thought for a second. He let out a small chuckle. "This is stupid." He told himself as he looked at the ceiling and sighed.

At the split of a second, Levi found himself cutting deep into his wrist. The cold metal made its way down into his flesh, almost cutting the vein instantly. Due to the captain's high pain intolerance, it was painful, yes, but nothing he couldn't endure. Before he could go any further, the pain got unbearable, and Levi dropped the blade to the floor, making somewhat a loud sound. A puddle of red liquid surrounded him in a matter of seconds he was drenched in his own blood. "Pathetic." He thought to himself as he got up and walked to the bathroom attached to his quarters, holding his injured wrist in his other hand, applying more pressure to the wound.

It was painful, yes. But that pain was the product of his sins. The punishment he so deserved. Living or dead, he was deemed to feel that pain on earth or in hell. He slowly cleaned his wound and bandaged it. He then made his way back to his room and cleaned his room until morning. Where no evidence of blood could be found. By the time he was finishing it was already 6 o'clock. There was no point in sleeping now, so he made his way to his shower.

Even if the captain wanted to sleep, he wouldn't be able to. It was not a myth that humanity's strongest was an insomniac. Countless soldiers had reported seeing the captain roam around the Survey Corps Headquarters late an night or early morning cleaning, adjusting his gear, or working oh his hand to hand combat skills. Despite the short amount of sleep he gets, no one knows how he performs so well on the battlefield. Hence why he was named Humanity's strongest for a reason.

As Levi finished his bath, he changed the bandage on his wrist, dried himself, and quickly put on his uniform. It was now 7 o'clock, and breakfast would be served in exactly 30 minutes. He made sure the wound was not noticeable under his jacket sleeves and cleaned the blade he had committed his attempt suicide with. He then got out of the room, closed the door, and made his way to the canteen.

Despite the early hour, hundreds of soldiers were already up and completing their morning activities. Levi walked inside the canteen and found the table where Mike, Hanji, and Erwin were sitting in. He then made his way to them sitting beside Hanji. "Oh, Hey Lev!" Hanji exclaimed, smiling and happy as usual. That's good,at least she's still happy and smiling. Levi had thought to himself and returned the greeting with a small nod. Mike and Erwin did the same.

Breakfast was being served, so the room was slowly getting crowded with soldiers. Erwin slowly got up from where he was sitting and excused himself. He slowly walked out of the room and headed for his quarters. Mike did the same as he had his squad meeting. Hanji slowly got up and said bye to Levi  as she had new experiments she had to go through, especially  a titan-shifter had joined the corps she was more excited than ever. Levi nodded at their goodbyes and stayed sited at the table to finish his food. Although he was not hungry, he forced himself to swallow the rest of it. If sleep couldn't give him energy, food will.

After eating, he made his way back to his quarters and tried getting some sleep. Though he had many duties to finish, he was way too mentally and physically tired to do anything at the moment. After what seemed like an eternity, Levi finally felt his eyelid growing heavy. As he slowly started to drift off, *knock, knock, knock* Three soft knocks made their way to Levi's ear, indicating who the person was. Levi groaned in frustration and finally let out a "Come in."

As the intruder made his way inside, closing the door behind him,"Levi, you seem different today. Is something the matter?" Said the man. Levi, now sited at the edge of his bed, slowly looked up to meet a pair of beautiful, almost mystical blue globes. Levi let out a small sigh as he looked into the man's worry eyes.

"Everything's fine. What do you want eyebrows?" He replied with a cold and uncaring tone. Erwin let out a heavy sigh, knowing full well even if he insisted, the smaller man would not share any of his feelings. And such left the matter at that. "Well, I'v been invited to a banquet tonight. The host of the party is a noble woman. She specifically made it clear in the letter to only bring myself and humanity's strongest." Erwin started, but before he could even say another word, Levi had interrupted.

"So... you want me to accompany you to a stupid noblewoman's party, only for you too to go have fun while I'm surrounded by pigs shit talking me?" Levi answered clearly unamused. "Precisely." Erwin replied. "I wouldn't consider it fun but more like a job. Levi, as captain, you know how much the Corps needs fundings right?" He asked. "Of course I do." The shorter male replied.  "But I'm still not going." He said. "Oh, I think you misunderstood me. Levi, that wasn't a request. That was an order." The taller man said with harshness in his voice, matching the tone of his words. "I expect to see you dress accordingly at 7pm sharp." He exclaimed. "And that is final." With that, Erwin turned on his heels and headed for the door, leaving Levi exactly where he had found him.

*Tsk* Those words again. It echoed through Levi's mind."And that's an order." It seemed that was the only way to leave him in check. Making sure he acted as a good puppy to its owner. As a slave to its master. He had no rights. He was a decoy. If it wasn't for his skills, he probably would be dead rotten in the underground by now. All he could do was follow orders and make sure everything goes exactly how Erwin wanted it. Those words were the words that bound them together.

Even if he hated it or not, that was his only purpose. Follow orders. Levi had only ever experienced this feeling when his two beloved comrades and mother died. But now, he was feeling it again. He felt a liquid stream down his cheek. "Tears?" As he wiped his face with his hand, he was indeed correct.