Eruri | No Regrets.

Chapter - 3

As Levi get off the carriage, Erwin followed close behind. "Levi, is something wrong? You seem traubled." Erwin stated. Levi didn't respond. "Levi, if something is wrong or troubling you please do tell me." Erwin persisted on making Levi telling him what was wrong. "It's none of your business eyebrows." Levi responded, as he did he slowly walked past the front gates of the Survey Corps HQ. Erwin sigh already knowing it was no use to bother the man any longer.

Levi had rushed into the building and up the steps wanting to escape his thoughts. As he shortly arrived to his private quarters he had opened the door got inside and closed it behind him. As he leaned against the door he felt his legs give out and so he slide down the door. He felt a mix of emotion at the present. The burning session in his heart had returned from earlier moments. He knew Erwin simply did it for the funding but he couldn't stop himself from feeling that way.

He then approached the his bed and did not even bother to strip his clothes away but simply collapsed into the soft sheets and tightly shut his eyelids. A few minutes past and nothing could be heard but the sound of the captain's breathing. he had accepted there were no chances of him getting sleep that night, he decided to get up and change into a large shirt and underwear. As he puts on his shirt he couldn't help but to notice the bandages on his arm. He examined the bandage further and turned over to the same blade he had used to cut his arm with.

He marched over to the table where the blade was and picked it up with his injured arm with the goal to do the same thing but with the opposite arm. When he couldn't sleep at night he would either tire his body out by training or use intense pain infliction to pass out. As he brought the blade up to his wrist he felt his skin open as the blade dig deeper. The captain winced at the pain. He stood there still as a statue, watching the blood stream down his arm. The captain then sat on the edge of his bed. Still observing the deep red liquid stream down his wrist into his fingers and finally onto the floor creating a pool of blood at the captain's feet.

Levi had struggled to keep his posture straight and his eyes open. After a couple of minutes he had given up and felt his body plunged forward. As he felt his head spin and his eyelids grow heavy everything turned dark.

Erwin on the other hand was in his room reviewing paper work. He couldn't help but to remember the captain's attitude from earlier moments. He sighed and decided he would go check up on him. Erwin obviously knew he loved Levi from the beginning, he simply never gathered the courage to tell him. He couldn't help but to smirk at the thought. "Was he jealous for what happened tonight?" Erwin had asked himself, he chuckled at the thought and grabbed a candle making his way out of his office.

After a short walk from his office to Levi's quarters, he had knocked softly on the door. No one answered. He frowned and decided he would enter the room either way. As he turned the handle and opened the door "Levi, can we tal-" before he could even finish his sentence he had witnessed the most horrific sight one could possibly imagine.

There, laid Levi on the floor surrounded by a puddle of blood. He rushed up to Levi trying to help him. When he examined Levi closer he had realized where the blood was coming from, tears were brought up to his eyes. "Levi...why, why would you do this to yourself?" He had asked himself. He then picked him up bridal style and carried him to Hanji's office. Thankfully it was pretty late and no soldiers were roaming around the halls so there was nothing to worry about.

***

I woke up to the warm but soft sun rays shining through the window. Wait a godam minute...this ain't my room. I looked around and noticed Erwin. He was shirtless purged on the edge of the bed next to me. Those are some great abs, I had thought to myself but quickly shook the thought away when he finally spoke. "Levi..." he said softly eyes filled with worry. I looked at him in confusion not knowing why or what I was doing there, I then remembered the events of last night and my eyes were filled with pure horror as I looked back at Erwin.

He then slowly approached me and picked up both of my wrist pointing at the bandages present on them. "Why?...Levi why would you do this to yourself." He had asked. I then felt a drop of water fall to my hand. As I looked up I had witnessed it. The first time, through out all those years I had known him...not once have I seen him cry. It shattered me. "Tch. Why do you even care Erwin!" I withdraw my arm quickly enough and looked away.

"Levi...please." He had begged. Every word he had said echoed through my brain as the only thing I couldn't bring myself to do is to face him. Why? Why did I do this to myself? I acted carelessly and selfishly but isn't that what I've been doing all along? I can't do it. I can't face his saddened stare, I can't face his disappointing look.

"It's none of your business Erwin, why do you even care? Why don't you go fuck yourself? Oh actually there might be thousands of noblewoman willing to do that for you!" I snapped. No...I didn't mean it. I didn't mean to come off this harsh. Erwin didn't respond. He looked down to the floor without saying a word. "I-...sorry." Was all I said.

I tried to get up and leave but as I made my way to the door he had finally spoke. "Levi sit back down." I ignored his words and touched the door handle before I could even turn the handle he had spoken again. "That was an order, Levi. Do not make me say it again." Those words again. This time he sounded harsher and sharper. Was this really how he view me? A worthless object meant to be used for nothing but a single purpose?

It's not like I could disobey him, so I made my way back to the bed I was once laying in. Now sitting beside him a couple of centimeters away. "Levi explain yourself." He had said. His tones still held to that harshness from before. I looked down to the floor ashamed of myself. "Must be lack of sleep." I answered. "Levi, lack of sleep isn't going to cause you to take 27cm blade and cut your wrist with it! Levi I'm worried about you...why won't you share your struggles with me?" His words travel my thoughts. That was the first time he had ever snapped at me before. Before I could even think about my next reply. He had pushed me into his arms and embrace me.

The warm feeling traveling through our skin as he pulled me in embracing me tighter and tighter as if I was the most fragile thing in this word. I was engulfed by his body heat and in that split of a moment nothing in my mind made me want to let go. I then slowly remember that he was shirtless so I slightly blushed at the fact.

"Erwin...why?" I had asked him, pulling out of his tight embrace. "Because...Levi, I...lov- care for you." Was all that he said. He then let go of me and stood up and dressed himself. As he was making his way to the door he had stopped and looked back. "I want you to rest in here for the rest of the day. Hange will bring you your breakfast, lunch and dinner. There's a bathroom attacked to my room so their is no reason for you to go out and use the bathroom either, Levi this is for your own good."

Before he could even step out of the room I had answered. "Fine, I'll listening to you, Erwin." I had said. He had ignore me and headed out. Before closing the the door, he had looked back and responded with a small nod as a sign of goodbye. Or more like See you later.