Enemies On The Mission [b.barnes]

Part 14 - Talk

Marcella's POV

I'm hugging something warm and solid. I move slightly trying to get comfy but when I try to move I'm held in place with something heavy on my back.

"Please don't move, you're warm," a deep voice says. I blink my eyes open and look up at James, his eyes are still closed and his voice is deep and sleepy.

My head is laying on his chest and half of my body is basically crushing him.

Oh god. He saw me basically having a panic attack last night. Twice.

I quickly move off of him and sit up. He opens his eyes at the loss of contact and looks up at me. "I'm sorry I woke you up last night," I say to him. I don't really know what else to say, he helped me stop panicking, killed my sick ex and let me hold onto him the whole night.

He must think I'm so weak.

He sits up and moves his hand like he was about to touch me but he decideds against it and let's his arm fall onto the bed. "Don't apologise to me doll, it wasn't your fault," he says to me.

I don't know what to say. I'm to busy cringing about what a fucking baby I was.

I told him last night that the Silencer killed my parents, James knows who killed my parents. He's the first ever person I've ever told.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asks gently.

I shake my head 'no' and quickly get off the bed. "I'm going for a shower Barnes, big day," I say rushing to get some off my stuff.

"Marcella."

I ignore him and continue looking through my suitcase.

"Can you look at me?" He asks. I don't.

I can't face him right now, I've never opened up to anyone and I don't know how to feel about it. I've always been that way, I would never tell my "friends" anything personal growing up and although I loved my parents and was close with them I never really spoke to them about anything personal either.

Trust issues.

I've never had a proper boyfriend. The closest I got to having one is Loki, but let's just say he didn't really help.

I hear James get off the bed and he walks up behind me. I try to keep ignoring him and shuffle through things in my suitcase.

"Marcella stop," he says grabbing me hands and turning me to look at him. "You're going to sit your ass down and tell me why your freaking out so much right now."

"I'm not freaking out," I say and he lifts his hands to cup my face.

"Yes you are doll. Is it because of me?" He asks his eyes full of an emotion I've never seen before. Other than that his face remains as stotic as ever.

"No," I whisper.

"Let me refrace that. Is it because you told me about who killed your parents?"

I don't say anything, for some reason I feel like I'm going to cry again and I'm trying really hard not to.

"Fuck Marcella please don't cry," he whispers, "come sit down okay." He guides me to the bed and I sit down criss cross on top of it fiddling with my hands. He sits down next to me.

"I'm not going to tell anybody and you don't have to tell me anything more if you don't want to, you know that right?" He says looking over at me. I shrug, what reason does he have to keep any of my secrets to himself?

James sighs and let's his head fall down. "I want you to be able to trust me Marcella," he admits quietly. He looks up at me again and continues, "I know that's hard, and I don't expect you to tell me anything but I want you to know you can trust me," James says.