While We're Here

Part 1: Detrimental Positivity

Introduction

It all happens so fast. Anything and everything can end just as fast as it all began. Relationships, interactions, events, emotions, catastrophes its scary and more often than not its inexplicable. It's even worse when we have to go through it all alone. Which I felt like I did. Aimlessly wandering through something I didn't understand even though I lied to myself and said I knew what I wanted. That's why I wrote these words so that those that feel like me, those that have felt like me and those who may feel like me in the days to come could feel a little less alone so we can relate to one another. So that even if we can't find ourselves in this mess until the day we do and until the day we make it out.

While we're here

We'll care for each other
For as long as we cannot care for ourselves

Part 1: Detrimental Positivity
And if my happiness is a lie
Let it be so
For the truth has hurt me
So I no longer wish to know
Which is why me and the delusions have grown so close.

1. Insecurity
The embodiment of insecurity
No need to speak
No need to know what you think of me
But I will let you know
No
Rather not have you knowing
Rather not have my insecurities showing

I'm better than that
Better than letting you in
I'm okay with being insecure
But now okay with letting you win

Weakness a sin
Lies your kin
The truth I am
Like a bird let me sing
Like a bird spread my wings

The embodiment of insecurity
But I will not let that be all there is to me

2. I heard but never listened
And for a while now I've sat in this room with a man named ambition
And for a while now, he's been speaking
And I've heard him but I don't think I was truly listening

Speak again please! allow me to listen
I no longer wish to just sit here
I want to chase you
hoping I stay close enough to hear you
I want to follow you, go after my ambition

I was foolish
Constantly lacking passion and forsaking my ambition
wishing for success, dreaming of the riches
Developing an obsession
but never carrying out the mission

Please let me listen, I beg you
Who I am now is different
I want to be different
I want to win
I want to remain true to my ambition

3. Dance with me
Dance with me
So many songs
But how long until my legs give out
How long until I can no longer dance
Take my hand
Let us dance till the very end
As if we will never be able to dance with each other again.

Don't cry
Instead face the night with your prettiest smile
If we cannot have forever
Let us have right now
A million moments just for us
Surely that's enough?

I don't think any of my dance moves were good
but next to you I'm pretty sure I looked just fine
Tonight was never going to be long enough
But I'm happy with you is how I spent all my time.

It was all so surreal
even after I lost myself
And could no longer dance
Contempt in my departure As the last thing I felt was
your hand.

4. Old friends
I need you to be your own person
Be yourself
Because who is there to love
If you're just an empty shell

I love to see you doing well but
I miss when I could tell you about the bad days
As well as those that were good
Then hear you talk about your day
When we could

Times passed you still look good
Like I knew you would
We don't talk anymore but, we really should
I miss my friend I want to ask for her back
And I think I should but
I don't need the romance, I know I'm good
I've moved on and I never thought I would

I guess this is a metaphorical goodbye
Cause I know we'll interact
But we'll never have any aspect of what we had back

Good luck
I wish you well
And sincerely hope you take care of yourself

5. For you, us and whoever comes next
Mistakes I'll make many
Bad days we'll have plenty
But every day and in everyway
I'll do my best to make you stay

You'll sing and I'll dance
Have a dream and I'll make a plan
You speak and I understand
Give me a chance and I'll hold your hand

I've never felt love but I'll show it
I'm not too special but I'm a poet
So if it makes you smile then I wrote it
When you get hurt I'll notice
And if you should leave I'll be broken

But please do return the heart that you've stolen
Because whoever comes next also deserves a poem

6. Lady slumber
My demons sung when we'd meet
My darkest thoughts sang the sweetest melodies
I kissed her because this wasn't the first time we'd met
I fell in love with her in a place I always forget

I love her although I can never remember her name
And most nights when I see her she's never the same
But she takes me away
Seperates me from reality, she erases the pain
But like anything else too much of her is not okay

Her hand on my face
She pulls away so gently
Our lips disconnect this messes up my sanity
Don't let me go I can't stand to face reality
Please let me stay here with you where I live happily

Unconscious and unaware
In an abyss where I'm not scared
Hold me
Hold me here
Let me stay asleep
Away from them, away from me
In these dreams
Where I can exist but don't have to be

Our story begins with a sense of misunderstanding paired with the sense of confusion as the young man cannot trust himself because he is unable to tell the difference between the truth, the lies he's told himself as well as the lies he's told the world. So he decides to live with the dishonesty continuing to lie to himself claiming that what he is doing and the decisions he's making are positive believing that these decisions are good for him even though he's slowly destroying himself. Breaking what little he has left of who he is because he believes that even if the positivity he feels is a lie he should be allowed to feel it.