Howl [COD Simon Ghost Riley & John Soap Mactavish AU]

Tear Out All Your Tenderness

When Simon was simply visiting the base on occasion, he found it easier to keep any wayward feelings at bay. But now, he'd had a bit of a situation come up and he couldn't escape Soap to deal with it. Price had given him a larger, more permanent quarters as he had requested, but he was so on edge, he spent little time in it.

He had to get ahead of whatever the men that had captured him were doing. If they had let him be so easily, then maybe they were simply trying to find a foothold to restart what those scientists had abandoned all those years ago. But if they were far enough along to be looking for him specifically....he had told Soap he thought the rest of them were dead. If he was the only one left then he would be essential to whatever they were trying to do.

Simon was pacing outside the back door, a cigarette hanging loosely from his lips. He was getting ahead of himself. He had to get access to some information, he had to find a way to get to the bottom of how they knew his name, how they found him. He would start there and he wouldn't let his fears drag him too far in any one direction. It had been two days and the bruise on his side was already healing, but it was still a bit sore. He had made a mistake letting Soap see that he was injured at all, even if it was minor. They had been avoiding each other. Or Simon told himself that, anyway. Really, he had been avoiding the piercing eyes of the Sergeant, knowing it was only a matter of time before Soap got to the point that he couldn't let it go. Simon's lie was a poor one, and they both knew it.

The door opened and he knew that particular jig was up. Soap walked out and stood in the grass, lighting his own cig. He didn't say anything, he just looked out into the night. Into the sky. The stare reminded Simon of the night they'd set up camp in the Russian forest. A little bit of wonder. Until he turned to size up the Lieutenant who was staring directly at him as though he had no shame at all.

"Been looking for you, Ghost."

Somehow, his use of the nickname seemed cold and it made Simon feel like he wanted to shrink. The thought forced him to realize that the acceptance of Johnny Mactavish was something he craved quite seriously. He didn't give anything away to the man.

"Been here all day." Simon motioned back toward the door Soap had exited.

Suddenly, Soap lost his nerve altogether. He'd wanted to approach Simon, confront him, really, and ask him what had happened in the city. He had imagined a lot of different possibilities, mugging, scuffle at a bar, but he couldn't pinpoint why Simon would lie about any of those. And he knew a left hook hadn't caused a bruise like the one on his stomach.

Something was off. Since they'd gotten back, too many strange things had been fed to Soap that he was expected to just believe. Maybe he would have, too, if they weren't coming on the heels of the great revelations from his time stuck in the snow with Simon. The first was that science, as long ago as the 1940s, had found a way to stop death. And the second was that the feelings he had for his superior were very real and, at least on a physical level, reciprocated. Now he felt the need to question everything and he attempted to chalk his uncertainty up to that and that alone. He trusted Price, and he trusted Simon, and if he lost that he knew he'd begin looking for some kind of escape.

Soap looked down at his feet for a moment before walking closer to the taller man. "I want to know your thoughts on this Russian assassination bullshit from Price."

Simon was tempted to scold the Sergeant for questioning his leadership. For calling what Price had told them bullshit. For speaking to his Lieutenant like an equal. But nearly shoulder to shoulder, knowing what they both knew, it was called for. Welcomed, even. Simon didn't usually mind the loneliness of his high rank. He didn't need the companionship of other tired, young men. Until now, he needed the companionship of the one beside him. He needed something to ground him and the warm, booted presence of Soap did that.