Howl [COD Simon Ghost Riley & John Soap Mactavish AU]

Prologue to the Prequel: He dies in the end

Simon woke from yet another nightmare and rolled over, planting his feet on the floor.

"What is it?" Johnny said, his voice scratchy with sleep. Slowly, he rolled to face the man he slept beside. "What's wrong?"

"Dreams." Simon said, his voice nearly a whisper. "I'm sorry, Johnny, go back to sleep."

But Johnny didn't. He sat up, leaning against the headboard. "Tell me."

Simon shook his head, unsure he should. Memories of Roach had turned sweet, with Simon laying his memory to rest, he'd visited him only in good memories and happy moments. But the horrors of what he'd faced alongside him still remained. The experiments, the hunger, the warfare.

"When I found you, Johnny, I remembered what it felt like, lying there and wondering what torture they'd bring for me next. Only I'd asked for it."

Soap nodded. Simon kept saying his name, something he did when he was working to convince himself he was awake, in reality. That Soap was really there. Grounding himself.

"Simon." Soap reached for his arm and pulled him back down. Of his own accord, Simon rolled over and laid his head in Soap's lap.

"I didn't mean to wake you."

"I know." Soap ran his hand through Simon's wavy hair. "Tell me."

Simon swallowed. "We had a choice. One night, we were put in a room and given the choice. I keep telling Gary we should leave. We have to go. He can never hear me. He never leaves. He just stands there, and they hurt him. He stands there and they kill him. And I don't want you to know I'm dreaming of him again."

Simon sat up and ran his hands over his face.

"Why not?"

"He's not you."

"But he's a part of you, and I love all of you."

"I couldn't save him, and I almost lost you. It's a matter of time."

"That's right. That's life."

Simon stayed quiet. A heart so big, so old, so capable of love. Soap was often overwhelmed by the fact he got to see it so bare.

"Tell me something nice about him."

Simon chuckled. "He was a great cook."

Soap scowled. "I resent that."

"I am able to love you, Soap, even though I loved him before."

"You're the only one worried about that, Si. I've never doubted it."

He nodded. "I know."

"You should write your story, you know. Record it. People should know who you are and what you did."

"I only care that you know, Johnny."

Soap lay back down. "Then you have to keep telling me."

Find the new work here: 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/45680422/chapters/114953689