You're Different to Me

Shattered Mind

I walked forward, the only direction I could go in the white limbo that surrounded me. Blood left a path behind me from my shoes, marking the place my tread had once been on the pure white surface. I was bright, the only time I saw anything close to daylight in this realm. I continued, starting to feel the anxiety growing in my chest. Why was it taking so long? I should have made my way back to the camp by now. I felt my skin prickle with goosebumps, knowing I was not alone. I felt conscious of my entire body, every breath, every blink, every beat my heart made. It all was so loud, It felt deafening. There was a ringing in my ears like a grenade had gone off at my feet, bursting my ear drums. I looked down at my feet, begrudgingly moving forward, one step at a time. My eyes finally focused on something, blood stained the ground ahead of me, so it couldn't have been the tracks I made. I looked up to see something that shattered my being and twisted my mind. Ahead of me lie bodies, scattered amongst the ground—all of the people I had killed in trial. I closed my eyes and looked away, I knew they weren't real, I had been killed before in trial too, and we all ended up back at the survivor camp, injured but safe. I couldn't stop myself anymore, I had to look, I had to know what had happened. I walked to the corpses, covered and surrounded by pools of blood. I stood my ground, these people deserved what happened to them. They mocked me, spit at me, hurt me--they got what was coming to them. I took a deep breath and tried to walk around the bodies toward the path I was originally on. That was when a hand shot up, and grabbed my ankle. It pulled me down, falling on my chest unexpectedly. I rolled onto my back as quickly as I could to see a dying Meg before me, holding on to my ankle for dear life. She begged and pleaded for me to help her. I ignored any killer instinct I had and quickly rushed to her aid. I held her in my arms, pressing my hands to her side to stop the bleeding from a large stab wound. Tears swelled in my eyes and she grunted with pain, I felt useless. 

"Hey, it's okay just hang on for me..."I stumbled to speak, holding back tears. I felt her muscles contract, as the life left her eyes. I screamed as she died in my arms, for the first time in a while I had felt emotions that weren't numbing toward death. I hugged her lifeless body unable to control myself. Her body soon turned to a black mist, as well as the others. I knew she was okay, she had to be, but that didn't make the hurt go away. I hadn't killed her, why would she be in the mess of bodies? Was this all some sick trick to break my mind, to subdue me into the killer everyone wanted? I couldn't think straight, it felt as though my body disconnected from reality until the white began to fade away to the familiar darkness of the killer's cabin. I rose to my feet, unable to blink, it felt like I couldn't breathe. I took my mask off of my face, holding it shakily in my hands. I felt my body walking forward, but I couldn't tell if I was the one moving my legs. I came to the campfire, finding Frank once again at the picnic table sharpening his knife. I didn't realize it until he stood to face me, hearing the leaves underneath my approaching steps. His jacket and pants were drenched in blood, a handprint smeared across his mask in a struggle. He stopped in his tracks, entranced looking at me. My face was motionless, unable to move my eyes to even make eye contact with him. It felt like I couldn't think things through, just everything happening one second at a time. He slowly approached me, almost seeming careful to not scare me. He grabbed ahold of my shoulders and looked down at me. I did not have the energy to lift my head anymore. 

"What happened?" He asked gently, kneeling in front of me so that I didn't need to look up to see his eyes.

"I stood there, feeling stiff and cold. I said the only thing I could think about in that moment.

"I killed them," I whispered almost inaudibly 

"Who did you kill?" he placed his hand in mine gripping it tightly.

"Everyone."

"Hey- so you did really good in trial then? I knew you had it in you," He seemed excited, but I felt nothing but guilt and pain. He once again lowered his voice, realizing I did not feel the same. I shoved my body against him, hugging him with all the strength I had left, and I showed my weakness. I cried, I didn't care who saw, I didn't care if Joey, the Entity, or anyone saw. Frank held me tighter trying to comfort me. I spoke in between sobs, I told him the truth.