Fast Track

Chapter One

Adeline's POV:

Theres a lot to be said about growing up in a family like mine. Almost everyone looks at your life and thinks that you have been given this special gift but for me, living life in the spotlight is anything but. Don't get me wrong, it has been rewarding beyond belief. But with Each reward comes a down fall. And out down fall? Having a grandfather that is a former NFL couch turned team owner in NASCAR. For everyone in my family, we all learned at a very early age that your private life is not private at all -no matter how much you want it to be. Strangers seem to know things about you that you wouldn't think are important. People expect you to be happy all the time because you have been born into a life of luxury. And for a while, I was just like them, thinking that I was untouchable, that nothing bad could happen to me. I lived life, embracing the name that I was given at birth, cashing in on it more times that I would like to admit. I had a good life. That is until November 6th, 2022 -a day that I will forever remember as the day my life changed in ways that I never imagined.

What's the significance of that date you ask? Well, that's the day that the first man I ever loved, the first man to every have my whole heart, the man I looked up to in every aspect of life passed away suddenly. And honestly, I think that knowing that his time was coming would have been easier to have dealt with versus the way that it happened. The night before, we had been celebrating my little brother's first championship win, having the time of our lives and being one big happy family. Had I know that night would be the last time I would have seen my father alive and breathing, I would have held him a little tighter. I would have told him I loved him one more time. I would have apologized for everything that I ever did that left him disappointed in me. Now, I didn't have that chance.

There was no denying that losing a parent is hard to deal with no matter who you are. It's a pain that you never really heal from... ever; especially when you were the one to have found him slumped over the small desk that had been his makeshift workstation since mom had been in the process of having his home office remodeled. But when you are from a family that has a long history of being a household name for because of your connections to football and NASCAR, it's even worse. Everywhere you go, you are recognized. People ask what happened. They want to know how you are coping with the loss. They want to know how your family is coping with the loss. I honestly don't think that any of them mean any harm but when you cant even go get a pint of ice cream to drown your sorrows in without being bombarded with people asking the same questions over and over, it gets a little tiring; even puts you on edge and has you lashing out at people just so they will leave you alone and let you deal with your troubles. I can't tell you how many times over the past few months I have wished that I had been born onto a different family, one that wasn't as well known or one that was your typical blue-collar family. I bet they didn't get hounded when they lost a loved one like someone who was a household name did.

But just as soon as those thoughts drift in, so does the guilt. Guilt from wishing you weren't one of the infamous Gibbs associated with NASCAR and football. Guilt that you get pissed and lash out at people who are just trying to be sincere in making sure that you are okay since they feel like they have known you all of your life even if you have never met them a single time. But most of all, you feel guilty because as much as you feel fine on the outside, you feel like a ticking timebomb ready to detonate at any moment -well that or burst into tears spontaneously; maybe even both.

Want me to tell you what's worse that that? The guilt eats at you but it's the thoughts that creep in when you least expect them making you question the relationship that you had with the parent that you recently loss. You start to wonder if you called them enough. You start to wonder if you created this image of them that portrayed them as perfect when in reality they weren't. And then when stories start coming out about how they passed or what led to their passing, you start to wonder if you really knew them at all. And believe me, in the couple of weeks that have passed since Daddy's passing, the rumors have spanned from everything from him having a massive heart attack to him overdosing on pain pills -which is hilarious since daddy never wanted to even so much as take a Goody powder for a headache, insisting that he could push through the pain.