Warning(s): mentions of drug abuse and depression
Words: 390 :[
Teddy had been gone for two weeks, he barely answered any of Spencer's calls and would usually give two-word responses to Spencer's texts. It was breaking Spencer's soul and everyone on the team had already made comments about Spencer being sadder than usual just as he was starting to deal with Teddy being gone Gideon left.
Spencer loved Gideon he was like a father figure to Spencer, practically everything he did was to make Gideon proud and Gideon was proud then he just left. Not a speech about how important Spencer was, not a phone number for Spencer to check in on him, just a stupid fucking letter that doesn't really explain any of the real questions Spencer had.
In other words, Spencer's depression had never been worse, Teddy and work had been a means of distraction for Spencer helping him ignore the clear PTSD he had gotten from his kidnapping. He'd started having panic attacks and no amount of prescribed medication seemed to be helping him to want his people back. He wanted his life back when shit was similar and he didn't have to deal with triggers or random breakdowns.
All Spencer could think about was Tobias, more specifically the calm feeling of the drugs rushing through his veins. The feeling that he was just floating, that there was not a problem in the world that would concern him. In a time like this, it seemed like the only thing that could bring him peace.
It started in small doses.
He'd smoke some weed when he was feeling particularly stressed or just needed help falling asleep.
But it wasn't enough.
He didn't get that bliss that he remembered with the heroin. At this point, the idea of doing something illegal wasn't as bad as the feeling of being sober.
It didn't take him long to find a substitute for the feeling, Dilaudid. Didn't take him long to try again either.
Spencer was drifting through life just like he wanted, he was getting his work done, and he was interacting with people semi normally nobody making comments about him look off or sad anymore. The empty feeling in his gut was finally filled. He promised himself once Teddy came home he would stop, he would go back to normal once Teddy got back to work and he'd be truly happy again instead of this tolerable numbness.
A/N super short chapter wanted to get all the Spencer drug shit in one chapter in case it's triggering for people I'm on a fucking role with this (yes this is basically all I've done today what about it?)
-blu <3
YOU ARE READING
Secrets Spencer Reid x Male OC
FanfictionSpencer Reid x Male Trans OC I've recently become obsessed with criminal minds and I need more fanfiction about ma boi Spencer so here I am. This is going to be a mega slowburn and starts beginning of season 2 right after Elle quits I have a plan fr...
