Onyx

Chapter 3: In Which Hamma Offers An Olive Branch (Onyx)

Onyx

A chaotic alarm blares in the distance as my dream of bronze eyes with flecks of gold vanishes into the back of my subconscious.

I groan. Waking up and realizing I'm alone in this expensive ass house is the hardest part of my day. It fuels my anxiety. Outside of my ever-evolving emotions, I still have responsibilities that need attention. Even though I'm enrolled in a Physician Assistant's program, I still have a year left until I graduate. How am I possibly going to afford to manage our mortgage on my own? My current nurse's salary is not enough.

I might have taken Khalan for granted. Before our split he handled our finances. I never had to question anything. Maybe I should have pressed him for answers instead of acting so rashly. Every time I had the thought of confronting him, I always backed down. I couldn't bear to imagine his hardened body pressed against another woman. Pressed against her.

I hate parting from my nest of silk covers and sheets. His rustic cologne wafts into my nostrils as I shift in the massive bed. There will be no tears today. I can't lie and say all of my feelings for Khal has disappeared, nor has the ache in my chest lessen. However, I'm learning to live in the moment. And this moment of my life just so happens to not feature him.

And that's okay. My façade will remain unbroken, especially around him.

Pushing all those thoughts aside I finally tap away the brain rattling noise coming from my phone. I shriek as I realize I'm running behind. My morning routine is a haze as I rush to prepare myself for the day. I take a quick peek in the mirror, noting the way my favorite navy scrubs fit me perfectly. My locs are placed into a neat bun atop my head. I make a mental note to retwist my roots this coming weekend. I take a final glance around me before exiting our house.

Don't you mean your house? My subconscious rears her ugly head once again.

~

Working in a cardiothoracic surgeon's office is not for the faint of heart. One must be meticulous in everything that they do, if not a mistake can have detrimental consequences. Due to majority of our patients requiring surgery, things can become complicated quickly.

I busy myself at my desk, maneuvering my attention between both computer monitors that sit before me. I fill medications at the MD's discretion, answer messages from patients, and complete prior authorizations. As the day presses on my eyes threaten to explode in my skull. I push up the clear frames covering my eyes to rub them.

I take a quick glance at the time realizing that I almost worked through my entire lunch period. Luckily the break room is a short distance from my office. As soon as I return, I hear my phone rattling against the mahogany desk. I take a glance at the lit screen. The back of my neck begins to prickle as I see who it is.

Huh? Why is Khalan's grandmother calling me? I have barely spoken to her since we've separated. She's called a few times, but I'm always quick with an excuse to hang up once she mentions my husband. I take a resigned breath as I answer the call.

"Havna?" My greeting is formal at best. Soon, we won't be family anymore. I frown as I realize how much I'm losing because of Khalan. Why couldn't he just be faithful? My eyes begin to water.

So much for a relaxing lunch break. Quickly scanning the clock, I realize I have fifteen minutes left. Let's make this quick.

"Onyx, you know better than to greet me that way. Regardless of Khalan's decisions, I will always be your grandmother." Her warm voice washes over me. Hamma's aura oozes through the phone, it feels as though it wraps me in an embrace. All the previous angst in my body melts away as I grin.

"How do you know hamma?" My smile is fleeting as my thoughts drift to the woman who shares the same features as him. She knows. But how? Khalan couldn't have told her. Could he? I banish the thought immediately. He would never divulge that to her, all Khal is only capable of caring about himself.

"Is that's what is important, my child?" Her answer is evasive. Huh. Maybe Khalan is struggling as much as I am. I wonder if he's truly sorry or if he feels guilty because he got caught. Bastard. She continues. "I know you're busy, so I'll make this quick. You're overdue for a vacation. Will you visit me soon?" My chest tightens involuntarily. I can't visit her now or ever. As much as it burns, I must let go of my past. That includes anyone who has ties to him, especially hamma.

"I don't think that's such a good idea. I've sent him the papers, Havna." I return to formalities as I decide it's time to end the call. I pause, my voice filled with emotion. "Thank you for always being here hamma. I love you."

I end the call turning my phone off. I don't have time to dwell on the past. It's time for me to move forward with my life. I will not be defined by my marriage to Khal. My irritation grows as I realize my break is over.

~

The drive home is silent as I recall hamma and I's conversation earlier. Why would she invite me alone? Knowing her it's probably some elaborate ruse to save our marriage. I have got to hand it to her. She is quite the clever old woman. There's just one issue with her plan.

Our marriage can't be saved this time.

My thoughts are interrupted as I spot my husband's midnight colored BMW stopped at the entrance of our neighborhood. My movements lag as I slowly turn in, my eyes burning into his features. My heart aches to the point of no return.

He doesn't notice me as I quickly regain my equilibrium. I speed into the gated community until I reach our home. My breath quickens until I can barely  breathe. The tears that I have been fighting all day pours down my dark brown skin, leaving streaks in their wake.

What could he have possibly been doing here? What if he saw me ogling at him?

The possibilities are endless. Eventually, I find the strength to enter the house. I'm wary of my surroundings as I make my way to the pristine kitchen. As I place my keys on the counter, I am halted in my tracks by a single note with a receipt attached to it.

I know you hate me. It's well deserved. This is the least I could do for you, for us.

My Komé.

My façade completely crumbles as I trace my fingers over his words. The receipt attached to his rushed letter shows that our mortgage has been paid until next year.

What. The. Fuck?

I wasn't expecting this at all. It's not like I don't want to forgive him. But how? How do we move past this monumental moment that seals the fate of our marriage?

My actions are reckless as I decide to make the one phone call, I know I'll regret later. I patiently wait until I hear the familiar click.

"Hamma? Is the offer to visit you still on the table?" My voice squeaks.