Onyx

Chapter 4: In Which A Fire Is Lit (Khalan)

My fingers twirl the gold ring that is damn near fused to my left finger aimlessly. Its shiny surface reflects off my russet skin, highlighting her initials engraved beneath the same digit. I refuse to remove this piece of jewelry, not even if she decides to...I dismiss the thought immediately. No need to have an Onyx-induced panic attack in the middle of the filled conference room. Feeling constricted, I loosen the pristine tie around my neck a bit. I will cross that bridge when I get to it.

Unless said bridge disintegrates before I can repair it.

I allow myself to ponder what her response was to the note and gift I left for her at home. It wasn't much, but I wanted to show her that I could do something right. Especially when it comes to finance. I scowl in distaste at my revelation. The only thing I seem too able to manage is this career I've chosen.

Since my numerous attempts to get in contact with her were fruitless, I decided to act quickly. Rashly. I was saddened when I was greeted by an empty house. Hoping Onyx would be there, I stopped by after work to finally reconcile with her. Disappointment sours my mood further as I frown. Everyone's demeanor in the conference room visibly shifts as the tension radiates off me.

"And how can we increase our overall projections for the next quarter?" I bark at the quivering man standing at the podium. I grunt in dismissal at his answer, allowing him to finish his presentation in a rush. I sit in silence as the next presenter begins to stammer their spiel of spreadsheets including a detail analysis on how to increase our productivity. My interest semi piqued at best.

Our quarterly finance meeting is nothing but a blur as my mind continuously drifts to her. As the Director of Finance, I should be immersed in my department's presentations. However, Onyx's beauty has entranced me since the day I met her. Capturing all my attention. Since the day I'd stumbled into the ER needing stitches due to my extreme extracurricular activities. Her fawn-like wide eyes, her angelic features, her deep skin. Her features have been permanently burned into my psyche.

Nothing compares to our wedding day. The day that the moon and the stars decided to align in perfect symmetry. The day I decided lýkjy. What can I say? I'm enamored by her entire being.

The grand doors of the church open as the musicians begin to play Wagner's Wedding March. My eyes are fixated toward those doors. The doors that lead to my forever. I hold my breath as I catch my first glimpse of her. Of my soon to be wife.

Her midnight skin radiates beneath the sheer white of her seamlessly fitted gown. The embellishments sparkle, twinkling against the light each time she takes a step. My vision blurs as I reminisce on the journey it took for us to get here. In this moment. Our moment.

I shake my head internally; my efforts moot to shake the memory of the day we formed our union. To be completely honest, Onyx has been playing second to my career the past year. Ever since I received what I thought was the greatest opportunity, I've worked myself past my limits. Unknowingly, but surely adding strain on our marriage.

From missing dinners to being too tired to even catch up on our weekly routine shows. I thought she'd been overreacting then, but now I bear witness to the repercussions of my promotion. The repercussions of making someone else's money my main priority. I lost sight of us, and there's no one else to blame but myself.

Is it wrong to still pursue her into becoming mine once more? To still feel the need to be her protector, provider, and much more. To right the multiplying list of wrongs.

I hastily pull at the strands of long hair jet black that have escaped the smooth braid that rests against the back of my suit jacket. I blink once, returning my attention to the silent conference room. My swivels around the room in confusion. Someone clears their throat awkwardly.

"If you have no further comments about your department Mr. Kono, we can conclude today's proceedings." The CEO of the largest tech company based in Georgia, Dominik Henderson, gives me a pointed look.

"No comments." Blood roars in my ears as the tips of my ears become dark pink in embarrassment. I barely even paid attention to five minutes of the bullshit spewing from the presenters' mouths. What comments could I possible divulge?

I stand needing to find the closest exit as soon as possible. My panic attack resurfaces at full force. The heavy air in this room causes sweat to form on my forehead. Without another glance at the questioning glances, I escape to my office for the rest of the business day.

~

The heavy briefcase slams onto the counter as I take a resigned sigh. How long can I continue to live like this? I can barely even function, how does Onyx cope with this? She's fierce, much stronger than I am. I would have never left her. Bitterness at that fact washes over me. All I taste is acid.

My mind drifts to my hamma as I remember that I need to begin packing for my weekend trip to visit the troublemaker. She's pulling me away from dealing with important things that need my undivided attention. Important things being Onyx solely. Nothing else matters until we sleep in the same bed together.

My hands make quick work of the constrictive tie that has been bound to my neck all day. I rub at the reddened area beneath my collar. How tight was that thing? I remove my white linen dress shirt as I make my way to the closet. Since the weather will be warm there, I make sure to organize all the necessities. I pack them away in my black suitcase, setting it by the door. I make a mental reminder to set an alarm before I go to sleep tonight.

Hopefully hamma will be able to help me brainstorm ideas on how to get my life together. She has always been an excellent peacemaker as her traditional name, Havna, directly translates.

A call disrupts me from my thoughts. I job to the front room, find thing phone wedged beneath my briefcase.

"Khalan?" Bryce's voice booms through the speaker. "I heard you were visiting hamma. So, I decided to pop in so we could spend some time together while you're here." My chest tightens as my brother's voice welcomes me.

"It's been so long Bryce. How're the kids?" I wish me and Onyx had kids. "You know I'm always down to spend time with you." Bryce has been monumental in me deciding to want better for myself. I owe him everything.

We continue our usual conversation as if we never missed a beat. I tell him about all my recent escapades minus the marriage. His pride is evident as he recounts story after story about my growing nieces. Our phone call ends with me in a lighter mood. Even smiling. I needed to hear his voice.

I decide to check any notifications I missed within the last hour of our phone call. The name I never expected to appear has. My mouth opens in realization as my heart stammers against my ribs. Effectively winding me. As I open the message a single word is in the message.

Onyx:

Ma'jyny

A fire ignites flames into my soul, realizing that maybe I have more of a chance than I thought.

                                                                                                     ~

Lýkjy: To love; to fall in love, a word derived from Utian language spoken by the Native American Miwok tribe.

Ma'jyny: Chief's wife, a word derived from Utian language spoken by the Native American Miwok tribe.