Onyx

Chapter 11: In Which Life Comes To A Halt (Onyx)

I stared at my buzzing phone's screen for the billionth time today. Frustrated, I tapped the decline button and sent it to voicemail once more. I switched it to silent, tossing it on my nightstand. My body flopped back automatically, falling on the enigma of a bed as the light poured in from the blinds.

The bed had become my little sanctuary. Far away from the horrors of the world. Only leaving its comfort when I had to force myself to go to work. I knew it wasn't good coping mechanism for my situation, but it feels so damn good to lay in your own shit.

I huffed, shimmying deep into the oversized comforter until my entire body was buried beneath it. I'd spent most of my day nestled here, avoiding the obvious issues I needed to address.

Weren't Sundays reserved for resting? My subconscious made a sarcastic appearance, and I ignored her as usual.

Havna's calls had become even more frequent. I feel guilty for not answering, but I don't have much to say to her. Even if I did decide to run off to California for a break, it would change nothing. Our marriage was over, Khalan was gone, and I'm ninety-nine percent sure I'd lost my best friend in one fell swoop.

Khalan probably had told her about the recent developments in our marriage. If he was so keen on us working things out, he would have called or at least have the decency of sending a text after I stormed off. I was too prideful to make the first move. He got what was between my legs, supposed he was satiated for now.

Honestly, I was just embarrassed. I was twenty-eight years old and still felt like I had nothing to show for it. Yes, from the outside it looked like I had my shit together.

The big house, cars, expensive jewelry, dream kitchen... But none of that was obtained on my own. Even when I wanted to spend my own money, Khalan had hardly allowed that. In the moment it seemed sweet, but now it was biting me in the ass. I was not as financially literate as I once thought.

I didn't like how I had become so dependent on him. Even after he left, he was still having to baby me by dropping off the mortgage payment.

Life was taking its usual toll. The stresses of receiving never-ending white envelopes with due dates on them had engraved lines of worry onto my face. The cherry on top? I was also falling behind in my PA program. One thing after another, but what's new with me?

Sigh.

How can I even face him after all that's happened? I have yet to hear a response from him or his snarky lawyer. He's probably diddling his fucking thumbs with that shit eating grin. Khalan always found satisfaction in having control of me. I just know Havna is trying to set me up to see him if I do decide to come. She's sneaky like that.

Life was passing me by, and I still had little to no answers from anyone. That meant it was time to make moves without them. I needed to get in contact with my lawyer to see how we can expedite this process.

I peeled the too warm covers off me, bunching them around my bare thighs. I was making myself overheat with all the thoughts that kept popping into my head.

The sky's color had begun to deepen to a burnt orange, its dazzling color gave the pale walls life-like vibrancy. Something I had been deeply longing for lately. Absently, I thought about how it would be to share this moment with someone.

Do I stay with my husband Khalan or potentially explore uncertain feelings with Ruby?

On one hand, Khalan was someone who I wanted to be my life partner. We'd shared vows that were now meaningless due to a tainted man, who was inevitably controlled by lustful glances, and his egotistical ways. He wasn't always like this though. Which makes me wonder what really happened between him and his secretary. Was it really what I thought it was? I could see no other reason why she would have been leaving his office in that state. Then, Khalan would rather fuck me than tell me the truth back in that alleyway.