WHEN YOU FINISH SAVING THE WORLD ✸ Joel Miller

ix. Imposter Syndrome

[ CHAPTER NINE ! ]

imposter syndrome

IT HAD BEEN ALMOST completely silent amongst the group since leaving the Firefly's Building. Hayden and Ellie had been on the topic of places they'd like to visit most now, but a second ago they were chatting about which wild animal would be best to have as a pet. Random topics, sure, but they were distracting them from all they'd endured over the past twenty-four hours so I was okay with it.

Joel hasn't muttered a single word. He's just been leading us to our next location but hasn't said anything. I know his mind is going in a million different places, though. I know that he's beating himself up in his head about what he could have done differently.

I catch up to his speed and begin to walk next to him. Finally, I muster up the courage to speak. "I'm sorry about Tess. I know how close you two were."

It takes him a moment to acknowledge me. But when he does, he examines my features before nodding--a silent motion of thanks. And surprising me, he actually tells me, "Thank you."

WE'VE FINALLY ARRIVED to the place Tess had told Joel to go. There was a clear blue sky above us and freshly cut grass below. Joel approaches the metal fence and begins to punch in the four-digit code it required. He somehow had it memorized perfectly, without fail.

"You've been here before?" I find myself wondering out loud as I analyze my surroundings.

He nods, but remains silent as we continue down the street. There were various houses, most white but some with other coats of paint colours. It seemed like a small town that was completely abandoned. There was a white church with vines growing all around it with a matching house next to it.

It was two stories, with light blue shutters and chips of paint missing. There was a vase next to the mailbox, I noticed. It had a dozen of yellow, dying daffodils in it. Joel seemed to notice this too, because I could hear a change in his breath as he looked at them.

We came to a stop, and I had been left with the conclusion that this was the supposed Bill and Frank's home. Joel spares me a glance before making the decision to walk up the porch steps and to the door.

Joel went to open the door to find it unlocked, giving us access to go inside.

I watch as he hesitates, pulling his hand away and thinking before opening the green door further.

As soon as I step inside, a chill goes down my spine and I'm left with an overwhelming feeling of anxiety. I don't like this. There's not a single sound, and it seems like a single person is to be here either.

"Bill?" Joel calls out, peeking his head up the staircase. "Frank?"

Nothing. Absolute silence.

"You stay here." Joel demands, turning around and looking between me, Hayden, and Ellie. "You hear anything, you see anything... yell."

I know something has happened. I don't know anything about either Bill or Frank or if this is usual or not but something between the way Joel's expressions show signs of worry, and the complete energy of this house is telling me that something bad has happened.

"What if they're gone?" Ellie questions, voicing what all of us were wondering.

Joel's eyes flicker with a softness--scaredness--before turning away and licking his bottom lip. He doesn't respond. It's clear he doesn't want to. He just glances back at us once more before beginning his search around the house.