WHEN YOU FINISH SAVING THE WORLD ✸ Joel Miller

xxii. Patience

[ CHAPTER TWENTY TWO ! ]
patience

JOEL CLEARS HIS THROAT, almost startling me due to the silence being broken. "So, uh, how'd you know what was going on with me back there?"

I smile. "Hayden's had them since her dad died."

He nods in understanding, and it's a purely awkward silence for a second. "I'm sorry about that."

I shrug. Talking about Brian's death doesn't bother me anymore--not like it used to. Hayden wasn't the only one who suffered from nightmares. Wasn't the only one who had to go on medication from the trauma. Except, I'm the only one who ruined both of our lives. "He was an asshole." I chuckle, looking up at him. "I seem to have a type for assholes."

He smiles, but I can tell it's the last thing he wants to do. He turns his head from me, trying to hide it but I can't erase that smile I just watched form in my mind.

"I saw that!"

"COME DOWN FROM THERE, you're gonna break your neck!" Joel shouts up to Ellie, who is admiring the northern lights--like I was just a moment ago. She walks down and joins the rest of us around the fire.

Joel takes a sip from his flask and I roll my eyes. Although we're all under stress and freezing, none of us are drinking. I never have been fond of drinking since Brian didn't stop.

"Can I have some?" Ellie's eyes are almost like puppy dog ones--big and pleading.

"No."

"What? Just to warm up!"

Joel looks like he's seriously considering it, and it's like I'm watching a disaster bound to happen unfold right before my eyes. He reaches over me to hand Ellie the flask, but I'm able to snatch it before she can.

I twist the cap off and pour the remaining alcohol into the fire, causing it to grow but making me sarcastically smile.

"Fuck you!" Ellie smacks the flask out of my hand, and Joel glares at me with those dark eyes of his.

"Why the fuck would you give a fourteen-year-old girl a flask?"

"You suck, Rhea!"

WHEN I WOKE UP, THE FIRE was still burning. And at my feet is Parker, with her gun in hand. My eyebrows knit together in confusion as I wonder why it isn't Joel who's on watch duty, but then I see him to my left, fast asleep.

I sit up, smiling, before whispering to Parker. "Morning."

She returns the smile and spares me a tiny nod.

First, I crack my neck, then, I stretch my arms above my head. I stand up slowly and walk over to where Parker is with a rub of my eyes. "How long have you been up?" My voice is soft, I'm whispering because I don't want to disrupt Joel's slumber, or Hayden's and Ellie's.

She shrugs, looking out on the bright white snow. "A couple hours."

I can tell she's tired, her eyes are reflective and rimmed with dark circles. "You have a bad dream?" I wonder aloud. She blinks, averting my gaze totally. Bingo. "You wanna talk about it?"

She shakes her head slowly. I can tell she's deep in thought and concentration but I don't think anyone has asked her that in a long while, if ever.

There's so many things I want to know about her. So many unanswered questions I feel the dire need to ask. But I know that I can't and I just have to be patient. Patience. Everything will come out when the time is right.

a/n
y'all know i couldn't leave you hanging on pedro's birthday!