Instagram || Ashton Irwin

One

New direct message

I open up Instagram, clicking on the notification. It takes a while to load, but when it finally does, my eyes widen.

What the...

MichaelRocks: hi

Should I reply? What if he's trying to kill me? And why did he send my a picture of... Costa cups in a bin?!

Me: um... hey uh... Michael?

MichaelRocks: oh no my name is Ashton

Me: but your username says 'michaelrocks'

MichaelRocks: Oh I just noticed that... MICHAEL

Me: hahahahahahaha

MichaelRocks: brb

I waited for a few minutes, replying to my moms text in the meantime. Wow, I know, I'm so popular.

PimpDaddy: hi again

Me: er.... not sure this is any better.....

PimpDaddy: wait what? OH MY GOD MICHAEL

Me: I am so confused right now.. who are you?

PimpDaddy: I'm Ashton. I'm a pimp daddy.

Me: um......... ok

PimpDaddy: oh my god. sorry Michael changed the autocorrect on my phone. I wrote 'I'm a guy' and it changed to pimp daddy

Me: right....

PimpDaddy: I need to change my username

Me: yeah.... that's probably a good idea

AshyWashy: is this better?

Me: eh its not... terrible

AshyWashy: there's just no pleasing you

Me: change it to 'CherIsMySpiritAnimal' and I'll be happy

AshyWashy: you're a Cher Lloyd fan?

Me: who?

AshyWashy: Cher Lloyd. Awesome singer and rapper. Was on the X factor. Collaborated with Demi Lovato. Do I have to go on?

Me: oh. Well, no, but my name is Cher

AshyWashy: oh ok. Well hi, Cher, I'm Ashton

Me: I know.