Insane in my Russian Brain - P. Parker

Chapter Twenty Five

"Hey, what's going on?" Peter entered the main room of the ship, Kat following close behind him. The two were trying to put on a serious face, being they were stuck in an unruly situation. But as expected, it was quite difficult.

"I think we're here." Doctor Strange watched as they approached a planet none of them were familiar with. Kat watched in awe as the dust settled on the surface of their ship.

"I don't think this rig has a self-park function." Tony walked towards a contraption, one that must control the ship. "Get your hands off of Kat and put it inside the steering gimbal. Close those around it."

Peter dropped his hand from the small of Kat's back, going to the machine that was parallel to Tony's. "I got it, what next?"

"This was meant for one big guy, so we gotta move at the same time."

"Okay, okay, I'm ready."

The spaceship started traveling down to the planet at a startling speed, causing Kat to lose her footing. "We might want to turn this thing, yeah?"

Before any of the four could make another move, their flying donut slammed straight into a wall, parts of the ship ripping off. Doctor Strange put a shield around the group, protecting them as they came slamming onto the ground.

Doctor Strange stood, offering a hand to Tony. "You alright?"

Tony grunted, holding his head to prevent an oncoming migraine. "That was close. I owe you one."

Peter, who had crawled to the ceiling of the ship, held himself upside down on a string of web as he addressed the two adults. "Let me just say, if aliens wind up implanting eggs in my chest or something and I eat one of you, I'm sorry."

"I do not want another, single, pop culture reference out of you for the rest of the trip. You understand?"

Kat rolled her eyes and huffed. She stood behind Tony as she began to talk, causing the older man to screech a little in surprise. "He's trying to say that something is coming."

A small circle-like figure exploded at the bottom of Kat's foot, sending both her and Doctor Strange flying to the side of the ship. They rolled to the ground, Kat protecting the doctor's head before it could slam onto a wall.

"Thank you." He was quick to pull her to her feet, putting up a shield that prevented both of them from oncoming fire.

"Thanos!" A man screamed at the top of his lungs, charging at Tony. Thanos? They were trying to take down Thanos, not join him.

Tony easily shot him down, instead focusing his attention on the more primitive subject. A man, one who seemed human with a mask on his face, flew up into the air and shot guns at Tony. The bullets bounced off his suit with no further damage, but he was still the biggest threat they had at the moment.

An electric bullet hit Tony square in the chest, sending electric currents through his arc reactor. It tampered with his breathing, paralyzing him for a few moments.

"Stay down, clown." The human man held Peter in a chokehold, while Tony was able to free himself and pointed his fist at the first attacker. "Everybody stay where you are. Chill the eff out."

The man's mask retracted, revealing a middle-aged man obviously going through his mid-life crisis. Poor thing. "I'm going to ask you this one time. Where is Gamora?"

"Yeah. I'll do you one better. Who's Gamora?"

"I'll do you one better. Why is Gamora?" The group's eyes turned to the man underneath Tony, who looked unfazed by his current predicament.

"Tell me where the girl is or I swear to you I'm gonna French fry this little freak."

"Let's do it. You shoot my guy and I'll blast him. Let's go!"

"Do it, Quill! I can take it."

"No, you can't take it! Stark, don't be an idiot." Tony rolled his eyes at Kat, waving her off as he continued to point his gun at the man under him.

"Oh, yeah? You don't wanna tell me where she is? That's fine. I'll kill all four of you and I'll beat it out of Thanos myself. Starting with you."

"What? Thanos?" Kat pulled down her mask, shaking her head. "You think we're with Thanos? Okay, let me ask you a question. What master do you serve?"

"What master do I serve? What am I supposed to say, Jesus?"

"He's from Earth. You're from Earth?"

"I'm not from Earth, I'm from Missouri." Kat couldn't help but roll her eyes. She wanted to slap this self-obsessed baby across the face.

"That's on Earth, dipshit! What are you hassling us for?"

"So you're not with Thanos?" Kat tried to redirect the conversation, suddenly wary of how close the gun was to Peter's face.

"With Thanos? No, I'm here to kill Thanos. He took my girl. Wait, who are you?"

Peter's mask retracted, and he tried to slide out of the Missouri man's choke hold. "We're the Avengers, man."

"You're the ones Thor told us about." A girl with bug-like eyes spoke. Peter mumbled an apology and helped untangle her from the webs she was stuck in.

"You know Thor?"

"Yeah. Tall guy, not that good-looking, needed saving."

Kat sent a side-eyed look at Peter. "Is that... accurate?" She turned to Missouri man. "Did Thor take your girl, too?"

The man's mouth dropped and he scoffed. "No. No, he could never, he's not good-looking enough for that."

"Okay, then where is he now Mr. Missouri?"

He pointed a finger at Kat, his lips pressed into a thin line. "Don't call me that. It's Quill. And it's a long story."

Kat crossed her arms, leaning against a wall. "I've got time."