Will of the Broken (Levi x OC)

Chapter 80: What's in a Name?

I hated the fog in my mind with a fiery rage, that equalled that of the way I felt towards the Titans.

It was like I could think clearly for just a moment, then it would block everything out, making me redundant and lost in my own mind.

Several times with watching the active duty Scouts, I had been asked if something was wrong by Armin when he had a moment.

Each time I dismissed him with a polite smile and a few quick words of reassurance. And each time he progressively became more concerned.

Soon it even caught Levi's attention.

"You look constipated. What's wrong?"

Wow. How polite.

"I can't think straight."

Levi was silent for a moment before he spoke. "Stop thinking so far ahead then. Be present on what you can currently do. There's no point in overthinking if it becomes a problem."

He was right. Of course he was. I had read several books on the human mind, and all of them said something similar about overthinking.

I had to stop this.

A warm weight on my head had my mind frozen instantly. No more crazy thoughts or fog pursued my brain.

"Stop worrying over shit you can't control. The holy man won't say anything about you. If he does we'll deal with the outcome together." His hand patted the top of my head once before dropping to his side limply.

"Levi, I'm scared. I've never been this lost before." I admitted quietly, bowing my head towards the ground, and averting my eyes from him.

"This is the furthest we've ever gotten as a regiment. We're all lost, without anything to guide us. That's all we have ever known, isn't it?" While his words soothed me, it wasn't exactly what I meant.

I looked up at him with unintentional teary eyes.

A moment later, recognition flashed behind his eyes.

"Tch. Of course you meant it another way.... We'll get through this. One way or another. Until then, try to remain in the present." Levi tripped over the right words, but in its own way what he said comforted me.

"I'll do what I can. So what do we do now?" I asked softly.

"We wait."

* * * * *

Helping was my specialty, but at the moment, I felt useless.

A small boy that couldn't have been more than ten, was latched to my hip in desperation to find his parents.

All I did was take a walk to assess the situation with the citizens driven from Wall Rose, and he slammed into me.

Dirt ridden hands gripped at my uniform and tugged every once in a while with a sob.

Looking down at him, I recognized him from a little while ago. He had been calling desperately for his parents while I nearly had a breakdown.

"Still haven't found them have you? What is your name little one?" Slowly, and carefully, I crouched down to his level.

His teary eyes met mine and he broke down again.

"K-K-Kip." He stuttered, gasping to get air into his precious lungs.

I placed a hand on his head and caressed his hair gently.