One Seen

IV. What She Saw

Is it just another selfish requests from all those who whines on this life? That is one question that comes in my mind. Like, that Aiz guy seems to be trying hard to get close to someone, but don't he ever see that I belong to somewhere else, somewhere that is not his'. I hope he realize it someday, well, probably letting him talk for a little while will not hurt, and in the end he will stop anyway. Not that it is my business to hear things from him. I mean, he said many useless rants that is getting, once more, blurry lines over and over again. Gaining mass just to let it collide over on the hanging thin air, vanished into the plains of nothingness and it got meaningless. Since that, I believe, most of his statements are based on formality.

The world probably seems so small for some people, I guess. I mean, just look at how they acted on this kind of society, that they are pathetically trying to do all they want. Saying that they finally understand, what? What did they even understand from their society, nothing ! they are just generalizing and think that the world is a place that is as convenient as his dream, and like a buffet they choose which is good for them and call it "true", "good", or such self-centered opinion on those things. Gives them traits that is not belong to them, that is one other pathetic form of how people's mind are there. There used to be someone that I thought are different, but in the end he is just all the same as the others. Now, I rarely believe what they are talking, but just like I said, pretending to listen don't hurt. So, I probably just need to put and act on them.

That is what I think, is that wrong? If I do, then everybody is. They are far worse than how wrong I was and I do now, they are just hordes of hypocrites running loose on the society, and look at how there are nobody trying to stop them. Look at how are that not pathetic enough, rather than mine. I just wanted to be myself, yet many are accusing me for many things that I don't. there are also that boys that saying and done many evil things towards me. They throw out my food, they say harsh things, and many other things. I mean, after all they are just bunch of bullies. I try to stay strong, and if I cried, that is beyond me to control my eyes not to let out those tears. Life is hard, and people makes it harder for another people to fit in.

I guess, all of this are just normal thing to do for me, considering on how all of this corrupted society does. If there is one that willing to repair - or at least patch things up about this society, then I guess that will be just enough. But when all of that will happen anyway? I mean, that person is never really existed on this life anyway, at the very least that person is not on my world. Not even once all of this dream and hope I had ever come true, it is just all lies, nothing more than just delusion and unnatural way of thinking.

This is my function, it gave me no other choices. As the system said so, it continues as it planned by the regulations and rules. It moves just as the laws stated, and lifelessly proceed with leftovers hanged on the roadside.

Still, she hides her real personality real deep. Not even Aiz, a person who shared some kind of similar condition of Maggie understand the burden of each other. For the time being, both of them does not even try to understand one another, and turn their face on the other direction - the direction where their own sight lies within. They have their own vision, and also point of view.

After a long session of normal school days, the class ended about when the sun decide to slide down for a bit. The shine gave some heat that is needed by human to build up their anger against the weather. It is not that shiny, but the radiant heat of it was one hassle to be dealt with. But then the sun is there, and will be there until the night comes.

Aiz walked down the hallway, alone. He walks by himself again, as there are nobody accompanies him. But he is kind of used to it, so probably it is not quite a big deal for him to be treated such as that way. That is one probability, but he is still a human, human still has its social needs, so it should be hard for him to experience it over and over again. Society, sure is broken down, and he is surely not even try to touch the society - or probably not yet - to keep his hands clean from the dirt of injustice and crimes made. Crime and injustice, slavery and madness, and all the brokenness that are provided by them are many of the reasons why this kind of human being like Aiz were born, the sole reason is this condition itself. But then, who are going to be blamed for this, and more importantly, how are we going to repair and solve all of these problems ?