Douma: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat*
Douma: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I’d have 15 cents
Akaza: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you
Gyutaro: Actually I did the math, Douma would have $225, not $0.15.
Douma: Fam I’m right here....
Enmu: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :)
Rui: while you’re there could you buy me an apply juice please?
Enmu: Sorry I only have a dollar
Rui: :(
Daki: Hey I just realized that Douma would actually have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent
Enmu: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice
Akaza: You can buy anything you want with $22,500
Daki: Yeah and they want soda and apply juice
Kokushibo: Apply juice to what
Enmu: Directly to the forehead
Gyutaro: Great chat everyone
•×•~•~•~•~•×•
Enmu: Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
•×•~•~•~•~•×•
Enmu to Rui, Daki, and Akaza: I'm about to mix a can of Red Bull with seventeen shots of espresso in a mug and chug it while The Kid's Aren't Alright by Fallout Boy plays in the background so I can perceive twenty-three spatial dimensions and fight my own soul
Gyutaro: [running into the room] Oh no, you're NOT
•×•~•~•~•~•×•
Enmu: Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle, and explode into bats to get out of all social situations.
•×•~•~•~•~•×•
Enmu: I'm sorry to say this to you Kokushibo, but the results are in. I'm afraid you have updog...
Kokushibo: What is updog?
Enmu: Guys! Get in here, I told you I could do it!
•×•~•~•~•~•×•
Gyutaro: Guys, guys! I have a new concept idea for a story
Daki: Great! Let's hear it!
Gyutaro: *clears throat* Reverse vampires: They survive on garlic and holy water. The sun heals them, and if you stake them through the heart, then they become immortal. However, this all comes at the cost that every single human being is trying to hunt down and drink their blood
Enmu: Ok, Gyutaro, I love the idea, but you do know that's just Italian people right?
Daki: I'm sorry, what
•×•~•~•~•~•×•
Kokushibo: Why are there little handprints all over the walls?
Enmu, whispering: Why are there little handprints all over the walls?
Rui, whispering: Because I have little hands
YOU ARE READING
Rui and Enmu's Life With the Upper Moons (but mostly Rui's)
FanfictionThis is an au where Rui and Enmu don't die and are taken by Muzan to live with the Upper Moons. Some of the chapters will be Rui writing down events in a journal while others won't. This isn't really a full-blown story and more of a series of onesho...
