Skz imagines ❤️

Han- Skyscraper

(Hinting towards suicidal thoughts, self harm and an eating disorder.)

Han POV:

I walked towards the local convenience store to grab a packet of noodles. I have been starving these last couple of hours but had to live through it, because of practise with the members.

It was currently 1AM so my Y/N was probably asleep. Y/N and I have been dating for about 5 years now. She has been with me through my trainee life, all the way to debut. I am really grateful.

Whenever I wanted to know about how she felt, she always turned the conversation back to me. She said I was more important than her worries, and that I should just rest when I was with her.

It still made me worried though. Sometimes when I get home late, I hear small cries from our shared room. But when I enter the room to check if anything is wrong, she is sleeping peacefully. Or at least pretending to.

I paid for the noodles and went outside. It was dark; only light from the few cars and streetlamps shone.

I have always enjoyed late night street walks, there's just something attractive about them. Even better when Y/N is there.

I finally arrived at our doorstep. The lights were still on.

Is she still awake? I quickly unlocked the door and went inside. I checked every room, but no one was there.

Suddenly I spotted an envelope on the kitchen counter. I immediately recognised Y/N's handwriting.

Without hesitation I opened the envelope; tears flooding my eyes as I read through it all.

With haste I grabbed my keys; not bothering to lock the door, or even closing it.

I ran through the streets. The sun was starting to wake up. I usually enjoy these moments but not now; there wasn't time for that.

I kept running; letting the tears fall freely. A few people stopped to stare it me. I didn't care.

I stopped at my destination. Tt was a really tall skyscraper. The stairs would take forever, but the elevator was occupied. I felt more lifeless than ever.

"I can't give up, not now." I thought to myself. I let me catch my breath and sat up against the wall while waiting for the elevator.

A few minutes later the elevator dinged ready, and I immediately sprinted towards the doors. Clicking the top-level button, I waited patiently.

My life could end right here and now. Only a miracle could save my day, my future. Thoughts were roaming through my head. I just couldn't believe it. It didn't seem real. How could-...No I shouldn't think that.

The doors opened and I stepped out into the fresh air. I didn't take time to enjoy it, just ran over to the edge where Y/N was.

"Y/N, please stop." I said choking on my tears. She looked at me, I could see she had cried too.

She smiled slightly, "I love you Jisung".

Then she fell.

I tried to grab her, but it was too late. I collapsed, crying harder than before.

Why? Why did she do that?

It felt like it was all my fault. I should have been a better boyfriend, been home more often, insisted on talking about her too even though she didn't want to.

It all made sense now.

Why I heard crying noises, why the fridge always was full even though I haven't been home for weeks. The pills in the drawer, blood in the bathroom, dusty plate shelves, the list goes on. How did I not notice?

I shakingly grabbed my phone and called Chan. He obviously picked up, given the late hour of the night. "Chan...?" I said choking again, "Can you please pick me up?".

I told him my whereabouts and he came as fast as earth allowed him.