Han pov
The loud voices in my head keep saying things I will never say out loud. I keep feeling anxious over things I have no control over. Should I tell her now? But, will things remain the same between us?
"Han."
"Hey, you're here."
"Hey, what's wrong?" Her eyes glance at my hands. She knows that I am on the edge when I bite my nails until they bleed. "No, it's not how it looks like," I added, trying to hide them under my baggy sweatshirt.
"Do you hate me?"
"Do I? No, never. You did nothing wrong... " But, all I hear is the opposite. It's getting worse every time when silence fills in the room. She scoots closer, as she reaches for my hands.
"But, why did you leave me hanging? We didn't talk for almost a month and now, we're talking again..."
"It's just, I want to give you some space. You did tell me you need time to be alone. I thought that it'll make you feel better?" I found myself zoning out. I try to recall, but there is no answer to what she said. "I didn't. Since when did I want to be apart from you?"
"Well, you did call me out for being too clingy... You don't remember, don't you? Han, that was the first time you raise your voice at me..." She smiled.
"Really? Shit."
"You okay?"
"I am more than fine. Aren't you going to believe me??" I lied. I always say that I despise a liar, and now I'm turning into one. "Not this time. Is there something that's bothering you?"
"Maybe... Maybe not?" Seeing her getting concerned about me is just heartbreaking to see. She is not supposed to keep asking me if am I okay over and over again. It feels like this is going nowhere.
"Say it. What's holding you back?"
"This. Is it true that you are cheating behind my back?" She takes the phone from me, staring at the screen. She shook her head thrice out of fear, trying to convince me that she was telling me the truth.
"Do you not trust me? You know I'll never do that to you. He's just a business partner, nothing more."
I was about to take the phone from her but, she glared at me. She's still holding the phone and refuses to give it back to me. "Don't tell me you've been spying on me?" I start panicking when she scrolls through the gallery. "I swear I am not a psychopath, okay?"
"No, no, you are. If you're in the right mind, you don't ask for someone to do this. For god sake, han. Just for once, can you please... No, I beg you, to trust me?" Tears rolled down her cheeks.
"I know, I am dumb. I should ask you instead of letting my stupidity gets the best of me. I realise that I am wrong... I swear to god, it's all my fault. The thought of losing you is always on my mind. Look, I don't want to do this to you. It's not my intention, to begin with."
"But, will you do me a favour?"
"Anything, I will. I promise."
"Let me go."
Just three words. Everything we've built crumbled down and it feels like the hurricane is rushing towards me in split seconds. I pushed her away, too far until I can't reach her anymore. Too late, the damage is done and not an apology get to mend it.
