Harry potter and his life of bullsh!t

Chapter 10: Alleyways are the best

NARRATOR'S POV~

Harry was surrounded by a cold darkness, everything hurt. 'Fuck old men with their stupid ass chins and their fancy ass spells, those pieces of shit.' he thought bitterly.

"Rise and shine sleeping beauty." came a smooth (sexy) voice.

Harry blinked. "if I'm sleeping beauty, does that mean you kissed me in my sleep?" he said with a eyebrow raised.

"guess you'll never know" the voice said amusedly. Harry decided now was a good time to get off the floor. Looking around, he was standing in a place that looked like a hotel receptionist room. there was a desk, seats, and on the far wall, there were two elevators. Behind him was another door.

Standing in front of him was a six foot something lean man. He had black hair that faded into a snow white toward the end, one eye was red and the other white, but what made them interesting, was the X's in the middle. There was a skull tattoo under his left eye, and he was just as pale as Harry, which was worrying.

The sexy motherfucker wore a black and white striped shirt that's sleeves got wider toward the end and reached his knees, along with lose black pants. Let's not forget the combat boots.

But what really caught Harry's attention wasn't the beautiful scyth in his hand, no, it was his hand. It showed a skeletal hand tattoo on his pale skin, long black and white nails, and a skull ring.

"emo" was all Harry said. Both beautiful men cackled.

"heya master, most know me as Death, but you can call me Hades" The man said with a wink and a wicked grin. Harry grinned.

"Ah, so you're Death ay? and here I was starting to think that I was hallucinating because there was obviously an angel standing in front of me and there is no way in hell I would get into heaven." Harry said half jokingly.

The two men could just stare at each other with wicked grins.

"So Hades.....where the hell am I?" Harry stated bluntly. Hades laughed. "you are in the desicion room. The room that decides if someone is put in heaven, hell, or limbo. However, you won't be going to any of those three, as you are my master, meaning you are Immortal. If you come here, it's because you died and your body is healing." He explained.

"I see, but if I was hit with the killing curse, then my body wouldn't be physically injured, so why am I here?" Harry asked, already suspecting the answer.

"I was bored and wanted to talk to someone actually amusing" Hades said bluntly. "I kinda thought so. But if I'm here, what happens to me in the human world?" Harry asked.

"well, time here passes a lot differently then on the earthly plain, so for however long you were here, bairly a few seconds have passed there. And that's all it really takes to heal your injury's anyway. You should be waking up in like thirty seconds now." Death responded knowingly.

He walked up to Harry and put his hand on his back causing searing pain to shoot through it. Harry, completely ignoring said pain, asked what he was doing. "call it a gift from death. I am bored, and it looks badass." Hades said with a shrug.

"Well, knowing you, I'll see you soon." Hades said with a grin.
"See you soon, most likely. Bye Bye~" Harry said, mumbling the last bit.

And with that, Harry opened his eyes to a blinding light. And Merlin did it hurt like a bitch. It felt like he hasn't moved in two years straight, and with that in mind he sat up and reached his arm up to stretch. His arm stopped when it hit something though. Patting the object without looking, Harry only said one thing.

"Uncle?"

The man looked terrified at the kid. He jumped back as far as possible with a girly yelp. He didn't know what to be more traumatized by, the hand that was previously on his genetalia, the boy saying uncle while doing so, or the fact the kid just survived a killing curse, again.

"H-how are you alive?" one of the other men mumbled. There was a total of six men standing in a circle around him.

"Better question, is why the hell did you attack me?" Harry grumbled as he stood up.

"Y-you killed the dark lord! We had to take justice for that!" one of the naive men shouted. "....." Harry did nothing but blink at that.
The men all just stood awkwardly in the silence, the occasional shift of footing the only movement.

Harry finally moved, and in doing so, Six decapitated heads rolled on the ground. Harry used magic to make sure there was no evedince, and when he was done, there wasn't even a crime scene.

"Hatchling..?" Athena said, as close to tears as she could get.
Harry started to pet her head and held her close to him. "I'll explain when we get home."

And so he did. He went back home and explained everything. Even down to how he scared off multiple psychologist. What a day this was.

A/N: that chapter was pretty different I think. I hope you enjoyed it though.

Fun fact: Lily's are often associated with death, meaning that Harry's mother was destined to die. 💀

Q/N: What is your favorite candy? I have multiple. Sour patch kids, lollipops, jolly ranchers, and laffy taffy.