Harry potter and his life of bullsh!t

Chapter 23: you gotta be kidding me

NARRATORS POV~

Wind howled around cold stone walls, moving and adjusting around different shapes of all sizes. Laughing and mumbles bustled around halls of a fortress-like school.

Sitting in a mostly empty classroom on an empty desktop was a thin boy with pale skin that seemed to glow in the light. He was smiling and satisfied- waving his legs back and forth while leaning on his hands.

The silence between him and the tall man before him seemed to stretch miles before either let out a single word.

"Oh? do we now? Enlighten me- what is there to talk about Tom?"

The man narrowed his eyes at the name but answered none the less.

"Tell me the truth, why would you give this to me? How did you even get it let alone know about it? And if you know who I am then why are you reacting this way instead of reporting me to Dumbledore and the staff?"

"The truth is much more painful than anything else sir, you sure you want me to tell you that one? What if it's something you can't handle? And the information might just take a toll on you? We wouldn't want that now would we?" Harry tilted his head
With a Sly and knowing smile.

"Don't play games with me Potter, I'm not interested in playing around"

"Potter Peverell* actually and who said I was playing? This could ruin your mental state, I would probably have to withhold information just to make sure you can process it."

Harry's smiled dropped as he looked Tom straight in the eyes. His legs stopped kicking and he stood uncannily still.

"I highly doubt whatever you could say would be shocking enough to do that." Voldemort said blandly. Harry rolled the next sentence off his tongue as if it was simply stating his favorite color.

"I'm immortal and from the future."

Silence.

Athena popped her head out of Harry's robes in consternation. He is telling this ingrate about that?

"I thought I stayed that I'm not interested in playing your games"

Harry stared at him still dead serious. He was unmoving, not of hint of joking anywhere on him.

Tom swallowed and leaned back on a desk opposite the boy.

"Explain"

"I'm from several years in the future. Let's just say the world went to shit. I committed self extermination only to wake up in my ten year old body; then found out that Im the master of literal death. There you go. Explained."

Tom blinked slowly. It was like his mind was having a processing issue and started Rebooting.

"...If that was anywhere near true, it still doesn't explain why you would give me this..and, I'm not saying I believe you quite yet, but if it is true that you are from the future, what was so bad that it cause you to kill yourself?"

"1: I know things. A lot of things. That means I know the truth. And also boredom really. And 2: War dear Voldy, war. Plus I've never exactly been right in the head. I just so happened to snap after seeing everyone die so brutally. Not much of a shock really."

The man paled more than he already was, which was a weird for someone whose other form was just about the shade of a snakes ballsack.

"War, what the bloody hell do you mean war?!"

"I mean- Dumbledore manipulated the world in such fucked up ways that it went to war and everyone died painfully and cruelly. What else would I mean by war?" Harry tilted his head like a puppy who was genuinely confused.

A pit dropped in Toms stomach. He knew that the old man's schemes were bad, but to get that bad- he needed confirmation first.

"How do I even know if you're telling the truth? For all I know you could be planning to trick me and only to drag me down."

Harry wordlessly reached into his pocket and wrapped his hand around the plastic handle of a switch blade.

Before Tom could even blink Harry had already stabbed through muscle and skin, hitting straight through an artery in his neck with a sickening squelch.

He looked Tom dead in the eyes before his body flopped backwards into the desk, blood splattering right onto the man's face.

Tom stared in horror. His body could do nothing but stare at the paper white corpse in shock.

"Really master?" Death tiredly sighed.

'Yes really, ya dummy'

Eyes with a somber as deep as the ocean snapped open, skin had already formed together, but of course his body was still in pain. He didn't really care.

"Is that enough to prove to you that I can't die?"

Toms face contorted with a sharp inhale. He opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. He opened and close his mouth like a fish without water.

"If it's not I can show you again with different ways... maybe decapitation would be enough, or blood loss...maybe bludgeoning?... or I could-" "NO!!- JUst...it was enough...." Harry was starting to get lost in thought before Toms loud- and in Harry's opinion rather rude- interruption.

"Oh. Alright then." Harry smiled again and started swinging his legs again. 

"So..even if you are the master of death, why would you be back in time?" Tom asked, wondering how that would work.

"Hades- or you know him as Death- took me back in time because there was nothing left for my timeline. If he's gonna be forced to deal with all death in the world he's gotta have some kind of amusement." Was his reply with a shrug.

A echoing voice resounded around the room.

"You're damn right."

Tom was startled, but Harry just blinked a few times and snorted.

"Damn Hades, that's a new one. Didn't know you could do that."

"Neither did I."

"Are you a dumbass or something?"

"Shut up, I've never been able to do this before. For some reason I have a bunch of weird abilities that are appearing rapidly."

"That's honestly kinda concerning.... Eh whatever."

"..."

Tom stared at the boy in silence. A wave of exhaustion hit him before he could ask anymore questions.

"You know what..?...we'll talk about this later, I'm gonna go sleep or something. I won't use the sorcerers stone for a little while to be less conspicuous with my disappearance and observe for a bit."
He said tiredly.

"Oh yeah, I actually have something that we'll talk about later. Though next time we have some kinda weird meet up let's do it in the Chamber, mmkay? Have fun processing this all- From experience, it's like taking a bottle of melatonin and having it only kick in once it hits morning and you have to get up again. It's real fun."

Tom grunted. And with that, they both walked away back to their respective bed chambers.

A/N: sorry for my inconsistent posting schedule, I've been distracted lately

Fun fact: (SCREAM 1 spoilers) Billy and Stu were based off of two gay killers who just so happened to be together. When asked why he became a killer Stu responded with 'pier pressure, I'm far too sensitive', sensitive was used as a insult against gay people in that time period. They were gay as hell and no one can tell me otherwise. Also the whole cast basically confirmed it and ships it.

Q/A: My Favorite song is 'Daylight' by 'David Kushner', what is yours?

Your dear exhausted author~
-Storm