How will you fix me ? (Sequel to Porcelain, I'll be...) - ON HOLD

Chapter 3 - I'll be right Beside You

Josh

There was so many people right here today. All those fans that came for this. It was awesome. Me and the guys were sitting behind a table on a stage and all the fans were standing in front of us. Ashley was just standing near us. Some of the fans were staring at my wheelchair, but it was ok. I didn't mind.

'' Hi people! We are so glad to see you here today '' They started to scream, 

'' As you know, I am really really lucky to be here today. I was so close to not make it. To be gone forever... '' I saw some fans in front of the crowd that was already starting to show tears.

'' But I am still here. Maybe not like before, but a thing is sure: I am stronger. And YOU guys right here, you had faith in me. I have read all your letters and I kept all your gifts ''

They then all start screaming: '' JOSH! JOSH ! JOSH ! JOSH ! JOSH ! JOSH ! JOSH ! JOSH !! .. '' 

I got overwhelmed and a few tears started to run down my face. It was crazy

'' You guys are literally the best. And please guys, if I can tell you something today is: Don't waste your time. Life can take us when we expect it the least. ''

‘’ You know... When this kind of event happen in your life, it makes you realize a lot of things. Life is short, dreams can end fast. ‘’

'' If you love someone, tells this person. Because we don't know, it could be the last chance '' I looked at Ashley's eyes when I said that. She smiled at me.

'' Since the very beginning, you guys were always there for us. And even in the worst time, like a few weeks ago, now, tomorrow: I know you will always be there. And i am so grateful to have all of you in my life. You are the truth.

''And, like you know, we won't be able to tour because of my physical conditions. But here, today, right now, it's this moment that is important. We're here, together, all of us, and we have surprises : First , even if it hurts a bit, I am going to try to sing for you. I will just not be able to play guitar.

Before we start: don't forget, we will always be beside you ''

'' When your tears are spent, on your last pretense

And your tired eyes refuse to close and sleep in your defense ... '' Oh god, it was painful... I can't do it,

'' When it's in your spine like you've walked for miles .. 

And the only thing you want is just to be still for a while '' I can't .. I can't

'' If your heart wears thin, I will hold you up 

And I will hide you when it gets too much 

I'll be right beside you .. 

I'll be right beside you .... ''

I stopped, it was too painful. At that moment, I realized how MUCH this accident have done to me. I can't even sing... The thing I was living for .. I wipped my tears and the fans started to scream and cheer. Matt pulled his hand on my shoulder

'' Our second surprise for you is : You will be the FIRST to hear the new tracks !! Ashley, come here please '' She came beside me, 

'' Please put this CD in this cd player '' She did it and the fans started to scream

'' And, while we are listenning to those fucking amazing new songs, you will be able to come one by one , sign my cast! if you want, of course ! .. I am doing that because ... ya know... normally, the guys and I are the ones that give autographs. But this time, we need YOU. I need you.. You are helping me to stay strong and I am so grateful that you are here. So, let's do this shit ! ''

All those kids were so happy. They all came to see us and they talked and signed my cast. Some of them burst in tears in my arms. There is this one girl , who just stared at me and she told me :

''I was praying every night for you. But inside of me, I knew that you will stay alive. Because, you have been through many things. You are one of the strongest person I know, Josh. And without you, this whole family would have been destroyed. You stayed strong once again. Thanks Josh. ''

This one girl really touched me, what she said was just ... amazing. I think before now, I didn't realize how much I meant for those kids. I didn't realize that ... so many people was counting on me that much. I was ...someone, for them. I think its because before, I didn't had faith in myself.

We stayed with them for a while and we had to go. People was leaving and we packed our stuff. Ashley, who was gone in the mall to get some stuff, came back. She hugged me and gave me a little tiny kiss on my lips,

'' So, you enjoyed it ? '' 

'' Yes, it was awesome. But i need to go to home and rest. It was a long day and I feel pain in my back. '' 

'' Ohw honey, let's go home then. ''

Ian took the stuff and went home with Mike and Matt. Ashley brought me to the car and we went back home. When we arrived, she got me inside and put me in bed. She layed beside me and started to play in my hair. I turned my head and looked in her eyes,

'' Do you know how beautiful you are ? '' 

'' Don't worry, my boyfriend is always telling me how beautiful I am '' I smirked, 

'' Oh man, this guy must be so lucky to have a girl like you '' 

'' Yes he is. But I am also lucky to have this man '' I smiled and took her hand, 

'' I love you my beautiful girlfriend '' 

'' I love you too, my awesome and incredibly sexy boyfriend '' 

'' Wanna take a nap with me ?'' 

'' Sorry babe, I have work to do. After I'm done I am gonna come with you okay ?'' 

'' Perfect '' She kissed my forehead and went in the living room. A couple minutes later, I was already sleeping.

Ashley

I went in the living room and started to clean. I put some music on, not loud tho because Josh was sleeping. I had so many clean up to do. I had some work to do for the academy too. I was so damn tired with all this.

I dont want to tell Josh but, taking care of him and all the other stuff, it's a little bit too much. I feel like I am growing in this adult life so fast. This year, I'll be 21 and I am already a stress person overload with all those responsability. I need a little break. But he needs me. And i want him to get better.

Every morning, I saw him waking up and being down because he see him self in this fucking wheelchair. I think he is not ok with it. I'm scared for him. I dont want him to be depress again. I try to make him realize how damn lucky he is to be here, but he seems to not really understand. There is a side of him who cant take all those changes.

I am scared.... really scared. I know what Josh is capabe of. Scare is keeping me awake at night.

But all I can do is try to fix him.