𝙵𝙾𝚁𝙶𝙴𝚃 𝙷𝙴𝚁࿐ ྂ ᴊᴇꜰꜰ ʙᴜᴄᴋʟᴇʏ

ᴛᴡᴇɴᴛʏ

SINCE GREETINGS FROM TIM BUCKLEY,
Jeff had realized how much music drove him. He wanted so badly to be onstage again, singing for the people. He didn't want to be a celebrity, he simply wanted to share his love with the world. Bare himself to them through song.

It's what he thought about as he played guitar, as every word he spoke or sang escaped his lips. Music and the idea of performing was all that escaped his pen as he feverishly wrote in his increasingly messy journal.

Jeff would daydream as he walked through the city, scrawling down whatever he thought of as an inspiration for a new song. Look at the different colors that painted the skies and the trees and the black of old gum many times treaded over that plastered the sidewalk.

All of it became a part of his music. Of his dreams.

He went back and forth from notebook to guitar as he sat on Polly's couch, her apartment was empty, save for Mads who didn't mind the entertainment of Jeff obsessing over singular words he wrote in his songs.

Polly still worked at Cornelia's, even with the bfa diploma sitting so prettily on her wall. Her reasoning behind not getting a 'grown-up-graduated job' as her sister had said, was that the waitressing was convenient. And it wasn't permanent.

The job she got next would be the one she had for the rest of her life, and that wasn't a decision Polly took lightly. It also wasn't one she was ready to make.

She didn't want to grow old.
But with each passing day, the changes that progressed with out her was a sign she needed a change too.

This is what she thought of as she bought a cheap bottle of wine on her way home, opting to go to the roof of her building rather than to return home.

On top of it, there sat planters- the plants inside had all withered and died. Beside the dead plants was a deteriorating beach chair that Polly found such comfort in as she opened the wine.

The sunset was a deep orange, almost red. It surrounded her, engulfing the brittle plastic chair and her bottle of wine in a fiery orange light.

From her eyes came unexpected tears. Possibly over her parents. Over the future, maybe even over the past. Over things she couldn't change, people she couldn't love or fix.

The wine stained her white top. Maybe she cried over that too. It all blended together as the tears fell few and slowly.

The sunset was at its peak as the door from the stairwell opened, Jeff saw Polly's silhouette along with her wine bottle and beach chair, dark against the oranges of the sky.

He sat on the ground next to her as she passed the bottle. They drank till the moon came up and they laid flat on their backs with their heads tilted to the sky.

Polly lamented to him about the stars, how the smog and clouds covered them and what a shame that was.

She talked about how her life slipped on through her fingers waving goodbye. And all she did was watch. About how the answers to the questions she asked her self was almost always I don't know.

She could spend minutes weeping on his arm, the next kissing all the way down his neck and smiling about how all the lights looked at night.

Jeff sang her songs and she listened intently, wishing he would never stop.

As they stumbled back to the apartment, Jeff made a note in his mind to start a song about the night as he fell into bed.

༻✦༺

The next morning, Polly was quiet. She was miserably self critical- of everything.

She hated how she spoke when she was drunk and how her emotions got the best of her. When she did things without thinking. When she took people for granted.

She felt as if she did that with Jeff. He wasn't gonna be around forever and she was taking each day as if every day she'd be with him.

He probably cared more for her than she cared for herself. The mental battle Polly had since meeting Jeff still went on. The battle was asking herself what the hell he was doing with her.

How he deserved more.
Way, way more than Polly.

So was she selfish for keeping him with her?

Was she robbing him of his worth?

He had assured her that wasn't the case many times before. But Polly wasn't the type of person to believe something was okay even when it was said.

Even though this particular morning was worse than others, Jeff couldn't help but wonder if she was drifting away from him. If she was moving on and closing herself off from him. If one day she wouldn't answer the door and only give one-worded answers when he called.

He told himself that wouldn't happen, that it couldn't happen.

He walked down the spiral stairs slowly, wiping the sleep from his eyes. Polly stood in the kitchen, looking out the foggy window as Mads still slept soundly on the couch.

Maybe shes different because of the news her sister told her, Jeff thought.

That was what he chose to believe, rather than anything serious.

"Are you okay?" Jeff came from behind her, playfully wrapping his arms around her.

"I'm okay." She turned to face him. "I've just been... just thinking about this, mainly." She gestured over to the living room where her sister lay.

"So you're happy?" He looked down at her as she averted his stare. "With me?" He continued quietly.

"I am so happy with you." She said honestly. "I've never been like this."

"Like what?"

"Happy. This happy. Or in love, I don't know." She stopped talking before it turned into a ramble and looked up at Jeff, the corners of his mouth turned to a smile.

He sighed quietly. "In love?" He repeated, going to sit at her kitchen table.

"Yes in love." She followed him, wondering what he thought of.

He smiled even wider. "I just wanted to hear you say it again."

Polly shook her head at Jeff, laughing slightly. "I mean, I already knew of course but-" He started.

"I take it back." She said, her words coated in sarcasm.

"You know you love me."

༻✦༺

A/N
ok so i love this story but I feel like it kinda has some cliches nd shit. but honestly it's kinda cute. idkidk