𝙵𝙾𝚁𝙶𝙴𝚃 𝙷𝙴𝚁࿐ ྂ ᴊᴇꜰꜰ ʙᴜᴄᴋʟᴇʏ

ᴛʜɪʀᴛʏ-ᴇɪɢʜᴛ

JULY, 1993
NEW YORK CITY.ೃ࿐

"HE'S NERVOUS."

Polly nodded along to Steve's words, her eyes glued to the front of Sin-é where Jeff stood with his Tele. His jokes felt much more forced, his vocals shaky at times and his improvisation much less. He didn't need to worry about how he'd sound on the recording and even with his nerves, in both Polly and Steve's opinion, he sounded better than any other artist recently signed to Columbia.

He ran through his regular set list, taking his breaks throughout his multiple-hour show. During those he came up to the two, asking Polly and Steve how he sounded, obsessing over his amps settings and the tone of his guitar.

"Was it okay?" Jeff nervously ran his hand through his now short hair as he bounded up to the pair.

"Great. We got it done." Steve said smiling, having thought out a plan.

"I think you'll like how it sounds," Polly confirmed, knowing that they'd already decided to re-do it another show. Jeff didn't need to know that though.

Steve gave Polly a knowing smile, Jeff a pat on the back, and went on his way.

After the Syracuse trip and Mabel's accident, Jeff assumed Polly would close herself off. Be even more distant than ever and shut him out. But she hadn't, not really at all. So he chose to be happy about that, rather than doubt her.

The summer night was humid, the apartment hot. Both Polly and Jeff sat on the small balcony, looking down at the street and buildings.

Jeff was scribbling in a notebook, per usual.

Polly turned her head to look at him. "What're you writing?"

"What do you think grace means?"

She thought, wondering how he wanted her to answer, and what his question meant. "Some type of beauty, I guess." Jeff scribbled some more and Polly continued. "Not physical, just the ability to accept life in its different forms, to move on and forgive. To love." She said thoughtfully, letting her mind wander with her answer.

Jeff smiled at her warmly, her answer wildly different from anything a past version of Polly would say. He was most definitely rubbing off on her. "Very poetic of you." He smirked, recalling the many times she'd protested this, saying she was nowhere near him in that aspect.

"Sure." She said sarcastically, laughing. "Well what about you?"

"Grace?" She nodded. "It's what matters the most in everything. When you fall in love, out of it. In grief and pain, in lighter things too."

Polly thought about this, thinking more to herself about grace and it's meaning. Jeff had grace. With his beauty, unbridled love, even in melancholy times, he had it.

"It's perfect." He thought out loud, twirling his pen in his hand. "Grace- the album."

He scrawled the word on the top of a new page, beneath it he wrote down various songs of his and different orders for the album.

Polly looked over at his writing, "that is perfect."

She couldn't fully say how proud she was of him, how happy that everything was beginning to take shape in his life.

Jeff rambled about how much he had to do before beginning to record, like getting a band together, what he even wanted the music to sound like, who would be producing. Polly just nodded along and offered quiet affirmations as she admired his face in the orangey light that was cast on their little balcony, finding it cute how passionately he talked about music.

He had now gotten to the topic of touring, distracting Polly from her lustful thoughts. "It probably won't be that long. Maybe one, two months." He laughed. "I don't even know where I'd go." He paused, ideas rushing through his mind. "You should come."

"What?"

"Yes. You should come, or at least come to a few shows."

Polly sighed, looking out into the night almost sadly. "I can't do that. But I'll go to every one I can."

"Good. You better." Jeff took a sip of his beer, imagining Polly on tour with him. He couldn't think of anything better than that. His eyes lingered on her, almost like he was expecting a promise.

"I wish I could go to every show." She told him with a wistful smile, "I'm gonna miss you. But it's not that long." She said this to remind herself that the future tour would be over in an instant, and she'd be busy with work anyway.

She kissed him once softly and stood from her chair, "I'm going to bed." She yawned and returned inside the apartment, making her way upstairs.

Jeff sat alone, closing his eyes to leave him with just his thoughts as the summer nights breeze blew through the pages of his notebook.

The city was surprisingly peaceful, only a low hum of engines and bars in the distance reached the balcony, though the rustling of the wind through the few trees was what he concentrated on. It was proof that he was really there, really brainstorming for his album, really in the apartment he shared with (the recently decided) love of his life. It was surreal.

To wake up arms wrapped around Polly, play music to a roomful of people who all watched and really listened to the words he sung. Or at least he hoped they did.

Even if they didn't, they showed up and that was enough for Jeff. Even if they didn't, he found salvation in knowing the one person who truly mattered to him listened.

༻✦༺

a/n
ik this update took forever i had sm writers block 😭