Daffodils

Chapter 14

I stood there for a while. I thought that Lisa will never going to talk to me. But here she was, called me herself.

I came out of my thoughts as she snapped her fingers in front of me. I flinched and nodded.

"Y-yes." I slapped myself mentally as to why I stuttered.

"I'll come directly to the point, Rick." I nodded. "You told everything about that to Kim?"

"I-i L-lisa.."

"You didn't?"

"I was- I was about to. But he didn't listen."

"You didn't even tried, right?" She folded her hands in front of her chest and looked sternly.

"I couldn't gather courage, Lisa. How could I? Everytime he looks at me, it seems like he's living his life to the fullest. Everytime he looks at me, it feels like he's looking at his whole universe. The twinkling stars, the urge to hold my hand the wish to live with me forever can be seen in his eyes. The urge to always keep me beside him. And trust me I want to. I want to be there with him, I want to be with him, but I can't give him the love he deserves. And after knowing all this, how could I tell him that I don't love him, Lisa?" My eyes swelled up with warm tears. Words started choking in my throat. I wanted to cry. So so hard. I wanted to disappear, wanted to run away and never come back.

"So...you just want him to hang around? You want to keep him and ignore him for the rest of your life? Rick, he deserves everything in this world. He deserves the best, he deserves to be loved, Rick. You can't just do this with him. You need to talk." Lisa explained.

"I know, Lisa, but-"

"There's nothing to think about. Please just talk to him. Try to convince him. And just pray that he'll forgive you. And if he don't, just accept. Go, talk to him now. He deserve an explanation."

"Lisa." Somebody called Lisa from the stairway.

"Yeah, I'm coming." She shouted back. "Talk to him." She whispered.

And with that, Lisa turned around and walk away from me. I was just standing there trying to process everything. Lisa wasn't wrong either. Kim deserved an explanation. He wasn't at fault, it was me. I was in a relationship with him and didn't give him the proper love. I couldn't do anything about my feelings but the least I could do was to tell him. And let him decide what he wanted to do.

I was about to walk but then my eyes fell on something. It was a paper. At first, I ignored that. But soon I remembered that it was the same piece of paper on which Lisa was scribbled something. It might fell from her pocket. She always stuffed her pocket with random things. Once she put her hand inside the pocket to pick out a handkerchief, along with handkerchief, three lego blocks fell from her pocket. And we were just wondering why did she have that in her school uniform. But ofcourse, she's unpredictable.

I picked up that paper. She had a habit of sign 'LA', the first and last letter of her name, on the backside of her notes. I unfold the paper in half and it was her comic design. Lisa wrote comics in her meantime. She wanted to be a comic writer. She was really good at sketches and form a proper comic. I chuckled lightly by her passion for comics and remembered the time when she made a comic for me and Kim. I was just curious about what she wrote this time so I unfold the paper fully. What Lisa had drawn was totally unexpected and a total shock for me. It was the comical representation of me and Lisa, about the conversation we had in park. The conversation where I proposed her.

When I started reading, it was normal. I still didn't know why she scribbled the conversation she hated the most. But still I continued reading. She gave me the rights to go through her drafts so I didn't give it a second thought before reading. She started with the time when I blabbered about the morals and that I can't control anything. She continued with when she asked me to decipher and I finally confessed. She added my stuttering too. I smiled on that.