Daffodils

Chapter 20

Jay and Rick were sitting in Rick's room. It was 6 in the afternoon. Rick was teary eyed. He was fighting to control his emotions. It had already been three days since Rick started reciting his story in front of Jay. Rick didn't want to start a relationship based on lies or untold things. He wanted to open up. He wanted to tell the important part of his life to Jay. He didn't want to keep Jay in darkness. And here they were.

Rick was fidgeting his fingers. He was sitting there, looking at Jay. And Jay was completely lost. Rick thought that it was over and Jay will going to leave him. Rick never spoke up about this thing with anyone before. Only Sam knew everything about him since school days till now. Even the group with whom Rick hangs out didn't know about this too. Now the second person who gets to know about this was Jay. He was ofcourse scared. He thought that Jay will leave him too, like his gang did.

"Jay, please say something." Rick finally break the silence. He just wanted to make sure if Jay is going to leave him like others did or not.

"I have questions." Rick didn't expect this to be Jay's words. He raised his head.

"A-ask."

"What happened to Lisa?" Jay asked and looked up at Rick. The sense of worrying was there in his eyes. His eyes were holding many things inside it. Rick just looked at them. Rick thought that Jay might not ask him about Lisa and he will shout at him for doing everything wrong with Kim.

"Umm.." Rick wanted to say something but couldn't frame sentences. He closed his eyes for a minute and calmed himself down.

"Lisa's parents separated after a month. They got divorced. Lisa moved to another country with her mom and her mother got married with another woman with whom she had an affair with. Lisa called me a day before she had to leave the country. I asked her not to take the risk, but still she came to meet me. She was feeling sad and guilty about my condition. Her mom didn't abandon her or did anything bad with her. She herself wasn't in a good space. She just asked her to be careful and not to do something like that ever again. Lisa came to me after an hour later the call. We met at the underbridge. She hugged me as soon as she saw me and started crying. She mumbled I love you and sorry. Her touch gave me the calmness I urged for. We hugged for whole 5 minutes. Then we talked about everything in brief. Because we knew it was the last time we are meeting or even talking. Separations are hard. I didn't want to get separated with anyone, but fate decided something else. Lisa cried hard while she bid her final good bye. I controlled my tears. As soon as she left the place, I fell on my knees and started crying. That was the worst moment. The moment of separation, where your heart and souls are connected but your body had to give up. And that's what I was facing. None of us wanted to leave, but we had to give up on everything we had. And since then, we lost touch. But the truth is, we lost ourselves within all this." Rick's eyes became glossy. He wanted to cry. But he saved his tears for another separation. The separation of him and Jay.

"J-jay." Jay couldn't speak a single word since the story ended. He just nodded and sat there silently. Rick was getting anxious. He wanted to be yelled, to be shouted but he didn't want this silence. He didn't want the whole atmosphere to go dark again like it went 5 years ago. He didn't want that same silence. He wanted Jay to be vocal. To yell at him. But Jay didn't utter a single word out of his mouth.

"And your dads?" Finally after a long time, Jay spoke.

"T-they never tried reaching out at me or even contacting me. I o-once called them from an unknown number, but dady hung up the call as soon as he heard my voice. It hurted a lot. But he wasn't wrong too. I never called him again." Rick said the last sentence in lowest possible voice.

Jay stood up and walked towards the window. He sat on the window sill and was looking down at his feet. He, too, was confused. He didn't know how to react or what to say. He was the one who approached Rick first. Rick was the shy nerd in front of him, but he had this big story of his life hidden within him. Jay never expected something this big coming from Rick.