You Saved Me (Emison Fanfic)

Ch. 2 - Come Back To Me

Alison's POV

"Ali, what are you saying?

I fidgeted with my hands, and I never fidget. I'm never nervous. I'm Alison DiLaurentis, people called me the Queen B. Girls would give anything to have the confidence I have...

Or so I thought I had.

But the truth is, the truth that I've discovered for myself, is that I don't want to be that girl anymore.

I don't want to lie and pretend, I don't want to hurt or be hurt anymore. I have to tell the truth...

But not all of it, just the part that I can bare to tell, the part that I'm 100% sure about.

"Ali?" It was Emily again. I couldn't even meet her eyes, yet I could feel them. I could always feel them. Even when we were younger, I could always tell when she was looking at me. I thought it was the same way everyone looked at me: with envy, jealousy, anything close to those. Yet again, I was wrong, or rather, blind.

Deep down I knew what her looks meant, deep down I knew how she felt, I knew she was different, special. Yet, being "Queen B," I couldn't accept that, I didn't. And that nearly cost me everything.

"Ali, you're making me nervous, please answer me."

Without looking up, I laughed lightly. "I-I'm sorry Em. And I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing at myself." I had to explain that because I remember the way I would laugh at her before, for wanting to kiss me, and I could see the pain I inflicted. Yet, like a true friend, like someone who truly loved me, she could only see the good.

"Why are you laughing at yourself?" Her voice was so soft, so gentle, I didn't deserve it. But she deserved to hear the truth, the part of it I was ready to share, the part I wanted her to hear and hopefully believe.

"I-I-Em, you know I'm, that I'm not good with emotions. Years of acting the way I did, I couldn't distinguish myself from who I always thought I had to be, who my parents, my mom especially, said I was. And I'm laughing...at myself, because I'm, I'm nervous."

I looked up then and met her eyes. Warm and inviting, not cold and hard like mine. She scrunched her eyebrows the way she does when she's worried or thinking, or angry. The dimple above them formed and I smiled. Of all the things I have been through, of all the things I have done and witnessed, the one pure thing to happen to me was Emily. And now that Shana was dead, and they all thought -A was gone, I realized that Emily was all the home I would have to come back to. She was all the home I wanted.

"You? Nervous? Ali what could you possibly be nervous about?" I could hear the disbelief in her voice and I know part of that was from all the hurt. I know it wouldn't be easy to erase years of cruelty, deceit and lies, but I had to try.

I sighed lightly and felt the smile slip from my lips, but I dare not let it slip from my eyes. I may look in the mirror and see cold there, but I know they're not always like that to Emily. She sees them and I know she sees the beauty in them, and the potential for goodness I possess. She knows I can be a better person, and I just want to prove her right.

I would never have known that someone could truly love someone else so much had I not met her.

I looked at her, leaning against the side of her window seat, her hair in perfect waves and there was just enough light from the night seeping in that it illuminated the side of her face, outlining her cheekbones, her lips.

She could tell I was fighting something and scooted even further into the wall, patting the cushion beside her. I knew what she was saying and I swallowed hard, walked over and sat down, ignoring her gaze for as long as I could.