Ch. 29 - Over

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Alison's POV

The feeling of my brain pounding in my skull made my eyes feel like they werebulging from my head. I was faintly aware of the time ticking down, counting eachsecond so they matched with the throbbing. I had lost track after seventy-something when I met her eyes. The look in them brought me back to a little overtwo months ago.

Emily's mom and dad had asked me to come over before Em got off work, so here Iwas, at their house, without Emily, scared out of my mind for what this was allabout. I had the faintest worry that this is where they were going to tell me that Ishould stay away from their daughter – and it felt like high school all over again.

But, as soon as I got there, I was welcomed into the kitchen for some freshlemonade.

"Ali?"

"Yes, Mr. Fields?" I stood leaning against the other side of the counter, watching theboth of them as intently as I could without showing any ounce of nerves I hadfluttering inside of me.

"Please, call me Wayne."

I swallowed, and repeated his name, without much confidence, "okay, Wayne."

Mrs. Fields, maybe soon just Pam, stood by his side with a slightly concerned lookon her face, the purse in her lips, and the same worry line above her brow that herdaughter has.

"Do you love our daughter," Mrs. Fields blurted out, her hand clutching the arm ofher husband.

He didn't wince. But I did.

I looked confusedly between the two and my mouth seemed to want to move, butnothing would come out.

"I um, I don't understand."

"Do you love Emily? Please, be honest."

Well of course I do, I wanted to shout, but nothing would come. Instead I took adeep breath and stared at the shoes I was wearing. Emily had got them for mewhen we went out a few weeks ago, she seen me ogling them as we drove by, andthe next night, they were a surprise to me after dinner.

"I know Em says that she loves you and we believe her, but things have gottenserious so we just want to know, do you-,"

I didn't mean to cut her off, but that was the time my mouth opened and wordsactually did find their way out.

"There's not much that I have been honest about in my life," I sighed. "I think a lotof that has to do with who I was trying to be when everyone was looking. I feltmyself become two people: the person I was when everyone was around, and theperson I wanted to be when I was alone. But, that being said, I didn't know thatthose were just versions of myself, not who I was...

"I think the purest I've ever been has been with Emily. It hasn't been long, youknow, being romantically involved this way, but I think that I've always loved her. Iknow it wasn't in the way she wanted at first, but that was because I was scared.Sometimes I still am. I'm scared because when she looks at me, I know I can't hide.I am both my strongest and my most vulnerable with her."

It was risky to reveal this much of myself to them, I laid my heart out and I neverfelt more vulnerable. But when I dared myself to look at them, they were just,just...just waiting. So my mouth kept running.

"Before I realized exactly what Emily meant to me, I always felt like I was wanderingaround life, being someone I thought I had to be until I realized I wanted to besomeone Emily would be proud of and more than that, someone she could love andwho could love her. I felt like I was drifting, until her. She was my compass and myanchor. She guided me and kept me steady through every storm. And now she'shome. She's the house that built me. The me I know I am, the me that I am proudof."

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⏰ Last updated: Aug 24, 2020 ⏰

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